


Heaven's Gate

by mercyandmagic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, Family, Forgiveness, Friendship, Heaven, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Multi, Redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 18:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8296457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercyandmagic/pseuds/mercyandmagic
Summary: Erwin Smith arrives outside heaven to find a multitude who have gone before. These are the stories of those who passed on in the Snk World as they finally find peace and happiness.





	1. Chapter 1

Prologue:

Erwin

 

Erwin Smith was missing and he didn’t know where.

A light wriggled into his consciousness and gradually came into focus. And then reality struck him, and Erwin fell to his knees. How could reality have such weight?

His hands felt his side, but there was no hole, no blood.

 _Hands_.

He had two.

 _Am I hallucinating_?

He was still wearing his Survey Corps uniform. Right. Was he unconscious, bleeding out from blood loss? Oh, but hadn’t he just been talking to his father?

“Hey, friend.”

At such a familiar voice, Erwin’s head jerked up to see Mike Zacharius, extending a hand and a smile. “Mike? You’re…”

Mike crouched next to him and sniffed. “Hmm. Yep. You’re definitely dead.”

“You were hit pretty hard by the Beast Titan’s rock. Levi’s in quite a state, but it looks like he and the Survey Corps will get out alive for now.” Nanaba strolled up behind Mike with a soft smile. “How’re you doing, Commander?”

“Is this…heaven?” He deserved hell.

“Yes, and there’s a even God waiting, but you’ve got a number of friends waiting, too. Besides us.”

He stared at her in shock. “I caused your deaths.”

“What?” Mike wrinkled his nose. “No, I ran off on my own to save those kids. And that Beast Titan thwarted me. Makes two of us, I guess.”

“Levi and the Corps will be fine, we promise,” said Nanaba.

Mike’s arms lifted Erwin to his feet. “Follow me.”

The gates were wrought iron and he could taste, feel, and smell them just by sight – and same for the grass beyond, a grass plain for once with nothing to fear. The reality of this place burned so strong he hurt, and if he hurt…he couldn’t be hallucinating.

He was really dead. Ready for hell once God was through with him.

“Oh look, it’s the guy who took good care of bro.” Isabel Magnolia elbowed Farlan Church, smirking at Erwin.

She wasn’t angry.

Lynne, Gelgar, Ness, Dimo Reeves, a sea of soldiers, long and newly dead…they all hurried over. They didn’t blame him.

Mike beamed at him. “You have a lot of admirers up here.”

“But none as big as me.” A bespectacled man appeared behind Erwin.

Erwin spun around and gasped. “Father!”

Younger than he remembered, but definitely Father.

He was too frozen to move. How could he even begin? How could he apologize? How could he tell all these soldiers his dream, let them damn him before God saw his stained soul?

“Kidwin, I’m so proud of you.” Father used the nickname he hadn’t heard since the night Father had told him the truth.

And then his father’s arms were wrapped around him, tighter than Erwin could bear.

“You were so smart, so brave. Then and always.”

“Father!” Erwin pulled back as tears choked his vision. “My foolishness got you killed. I – I used everyone here for my dream of proving you right. I have no right to be admired.”

“Oh, please, like holding onto a dream is a bad thing.” Oluo strode forward with a sniff. “I always held onto the dream that Petra would marry me.”

“You fly!” Petra swatted his shoulder.

“Everyone has a dream, sir, and you’re delusional if you thought otherwise.” Kenny Ackerman, of all people to be in heaven, sauntered over with his hands on his hips.

“Commander, none of us blame you. We admire you for having your dream, and we’re sorry you weren’t able to handle it in a healthy manner,” said Eld.

Erwin gaped at these kind faces – people rejoicing to receive him.

“Son, I couldn’t be happier about anything than being your father. Your dream helped keep you going, didn’t it?” His father touched his new right arm. “Erwin, I love you.”

And then Erwin found himself wrapped in his father’s arms, and he felt as safe and idealistic as a child. A sob rose in his throat. Maybe – this reality was real, and it was good.

He was home.

When they finally pulled apart, Father’s eyes were wet. “Think it’s time you fulfilled your dream. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

A slender, dark-haired man sat at a table not far away, a dark haired child on his lap, a blonde woman on his left and a dark-haired woman on his right. A man and a woman resembling him stood behind him.

The man swallowed hard and stood to offer his hand. “Commander Erwin Smith.”

Erwin gripped his hand, realization dawning on him.

“I’m Grisha Jaeger. I, uh, would tell you about the basement now, but that would require a long talk – and Carla insists and deserves to tell the tale. More than I, I think.”

The dark-haired woman swung out a chair with a bright smile. “Sir down, sir, if you’d like to listen.”

He sat.

 

**Yes, this is the beginning of a story where the arrivals of everyone from the Snk universe in heaven will be documented. Featuring lots of tears and happiness.**


	2. Carla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carla arrives in heaven to discover her husband has secrets much more painful than death.

Carla

 

Fear. Darkness.

_I will fight._

Crushed. Ripped.

The shock, the insurmountable pain she could neither battle nor surrender to, one final moment of distilled fear, darkness.

“Where am I?” On her hands and knees, Carla gasped at the vast humanity milling before her. The light cradled and sustained her, but she resented it.

“I wanted to stay with Eren and Mikasa. My husband, Grisha. Why was I taken?” Tears pooled in her eyes, down her face, as she faced a Person she couldn’t fathom.

She oughtn’t cry in heaven. Perhaps she was marked for hell. But how could anyone lie in this golden light?

“You _should_ have been able to stay,” said the Person, voice trembling as tears poured down their face. Carla looked into Their eyes and saw the world, a world she couldn’t understand but could only love. And They experienced her pain, too, in the purest sense.

“I’m sorry,” whispered the Person, the Person of Persons Carla now realized she had always longed to know. “It’s not right.”

They began to sob, and Carla found herself crying in Their arms, alongside children who gradually became adults, alongside the elderly who butterflied into youths, the crippled who healed and the man bit in half who became wholer than before.

Gradually the Shinagashina martyrs began to disperse, seeking friends and family and heroes of old, but Carla found herself staying besides the Person.

“More people will die.” She gazed back to humanity, to a Beast Titan and the luxurious people across an endless lake… “Why did I never see? Eren!”

“God, Eren wants to venture outside. Could he…could he see the truth?”

“He could,” the Person replied, eyes bright.

“Then I will wait here.” She stepped closer to the entrance. “To greet those who come from the walls. I love them – I love everyone here, I think.” She opened her arms, as if she could embrace all who had ever lived, and in a sense she could. “But the walls are my home. No one should come here alone.”

Did the Person think she discounted Them? Oh dear.

“You have a beautiful soul,” said the Person instead. “You see people as they are, and you love them even in their earthly misery. That’s rare among humans.”

“I suppose you made me so?”

“Yes and no. Every human helps form themselves.” The Person extended a hand. “Let me show you your son forming his.”

“Where is Grisha? He’ll be so worried.” If only she’d been able to embrace him one more time. His tender heart would be broken. “Will he be strong enough?”

Eren had never seen his father’s nightmares, the ones he wouldn’t even speak of to Carla. The nights the gentle doctor woke up shrieking, sobbing, begging for forgiveness.

“We can hope,” said the Person.

Her eyes focused on Wall Sina, an underground chapel. “Who are they?” Children, led by a girl with black hair and tortured eyes.

And then Grisha burst in.

Carla gasped at his scream. No, no, _no_ – this was everything she’d feared.

And then the children shouted back at him.

“The true rulers behind the walls. The Reiss family. The eldest is Frieda.”

“Frieda,” Carla murmured as the cavern exploded. “No! Eren needs Grisha.”

A titan, bulky and preposterously built, remained. “ _What_?”

Carla grabbed the Person’s hands, as ravenhaired Frieda shoved her siblings back, transformed into a titan herself. “What is he doing? What’s going on? Stop them; we can’t be fighting now. People are dying!”

The Person moaned, their face as anguished as hers.

“Do something!” Carla screamed as Grisha – her Grisha, in titan form – ripped out the neck of the child’s titan.

“I let people decide.”

“And they decide this? To hurt people?” Carla sat stunned as Grisha, her Grisha, stomped and slaughtered children. She was too shocked to cry.

When Grisha left, praying – ha, praying – that she and Eren were okay, Carla crumpled onto the floor. Nothing hurt more than seeing him become a monster. “Who the hell did I marry?”

“You married Grisha, right?” A pretty child hurried up to her side.

“Huh?” Carla turned a tear-stained face to the girl. “What are you asking for?”

“I’m his little sis. My name is Faye.” The girl held out her hand with a sweet smile.

“Faye.” Carla grasped the child’s hands. Grisha had never remembered his apst, or if he had, he’d never mentioned Faye. “What is going on? Why did I marry a monster?”

“He’s not a monster…just very sad. He feels guilty over me,” Faye whispered. She nodded behind Carla, at the train of Reiss children filing through heaven’s gate.

“Come with me, Faye.” Carla scrambled to her feet and ran towards Frieda, Dirk, Florian, Abel, and Urklyn and their mother.

She stopped a few paces away, staring at them.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Frieda sobbed to her family.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Urklyn said, embracing Frieda.

“I’m sorry,” Carla cried.

“Who are you?” asked Lady Reiss.

“A mother. The mother of Grisha’s child. I’m from Shinagashina.” Carla shook her head. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know.”

Frieda stepped forward. The conflict in her eyes was vanquished; only hope and kindness and wonder remained. “If you are so kind, I think, for the first time in a while, there is still reason to hope.”

“I’m Faye. Grisha’s little sister. I’ve been here a while. They killed me for going outside the walls of Olympia,” said Faye importantly. Grisha was hurting, bad but also good. Everyone should know that.

Frieda took in the pretty, apologetic mother and the sweet child. What had happened to Grisha? If only she had listened…but the First King had possessed her. He had stopped her, and she had been too weak. Anger burned within her, but also joy.

“I’m free. Mom!” She swirled around. “I don’t have his voice here anymore! I’m free!”

Lady Reiss choked back a sob of relief.

“Let’s talk. I want to know about Grisha. I want to know if there’s hope, real hope.” Frieda nodded at the Person, as if she’d seen Them a billion times before, and maybe she had, in every person she’d ever met.

“I don’t know if there is,” Carla said miserably.

“How can there not be? There’s so much more to the world than we knew!” Frieda sat on the grass by the gate and motioned for Faye and Carla to follow.

“I died a long time ago,” Faye began. “Can I begin? Sorry.”

“Please do,” Frieda said.

“We lived in the ghettos in Marley. The people across the ocean – it’s that huge salt lake you see,” Faye added for Carla’s benefit. “One day he helped me escape because I wanted to see the blimp they were flying.”

“Flying?” Carla frowned.

“Look.” Faye pointed below heaven’s floor.

“Oh – oh!” Carla gasped with delight as a large, white balloon took off from the ground. “Magical. Humans – they’re so special.”

“Aren’t they?” Frieda smiled at Carla.

“But the guards caught us. We’re Eldian, see, the people of the walls.” Faye looked to Frieda.

“We used to own the titans, ever sine our great Queen Ymir obtained their power from the devil to save her people. But when she gave her power to nine different people, we oppressed the Marleyans for almost two thousand years. When they rebelled and took most of the titans, they punished us and forced us to live in ghettos as an evil race,” said Frieda.

“Then the First King of the walls ran away like a coward,” said Abel.

“Well, he wanted peace. But to do that, he wiped all the walled people’s memories,” Frieda said. “I’m so sorry. When I became owner of the most powerful titan, the Coordinate, I wanted to restore memories and end the titans. I really did. But the First King – possesses you.”

“Grisha is possessed?” Carla asked in alarm.

“No. He doesn’t have the right blood,” Lady Reiss assured her.

“Go on,” Carla said tightly.

“The First King wanted to forget war. Not a bad goal, but it becomes bad when everyone around you is dying,” Frieda said. “Faye.”

“The guards caught me and Grisha that day. They beat him up and held him back. They said they’d walk me home.” Faye shivered, and her voice quivered. “They made dogs eat me alive.”

Carla gasped. “No!”

Faye nodded. “And our parents were too scared to object. Grisha had no choice but to agree, and he hated Marley for my sake. I liked that, I think.”

“I don’t blame you.” Carla hugged the girl. No child should be killed, no matter what they were born as.

“Grisha joined a rebellion. He wanted to save us, yes, but also restore Eldia, believed we’d done nothing wrong in history,” Faye said sadly. “So he married the last Fritz on the continent – the big land where Marley is – and they trained their son Zeke to infiltrate the Marleyan plan to eliminate the People of the Walls.”

“He…married?” Carla wasn’t surprised, just disappointed.

“Her name was Dina. They put too much pressure on Zeke, and Zeke was just a kid. He turned them in, and Marley made the conspirators the titans,” Faye finished.

“The titans are people.” Carla gagged.

“Grisha escaped when he ate another Warrior with the power to shift back into a human. He became a shifter and went to the walls to live differently. He met you, and you – you changed him. I saw his heart turn soft and loving with you.” Faye grabbed Carla by the hand yet again. “He loves you. But now…he’s recessing…”

“He lied to me. He said he didn’t remember, and I believed him.” Carla’s eyes stung.

“I’m sorry.” Frieda put a hand on Carla’s shoulder.

“He betrayed all of us in the walls!” Frantically, Carla searched for Eren below. “What is he – “

“He’s injecting Eren with titan serum,” said Florian.

“He’s betraying Eren!” Carla shrieked, leaping to her feet.

“That means he’ll be here soon.” Dirk scrambled upright. “He’ll have to make Eren eat him.”

“But then Eren won’t have anyone,” sobbed Carla. “Only Mikasa. They’re just children!” She looked at the Reisses, at Faye. “You’re all just children.”

Her eyes flew to the Person. “ _How could you allow this_?!”

Bam! Eren was curled up in a ball below, peacefully asleep, unaware of his father’s curse.

And Grisha was at the door.

Frieda, Lady Reiss, Urklyn, Dirk, Florian, Abel, and Faye just stared at his haggard form.

“Carla,” he rasped.

“Don’t ‘Carla’ me!” spat Carla, storming outside the gate. One slap sent Grisha sprawling backwards.

 

Erwin’s eyes glistened. “So the basement is your memories, sir?”

Grisha nodded. “Yes, Commander.”

“And world history?”

“With a personal take, yes,” Grisha clarified.

“You were right, Father.” Erwin turned to his Father and embraced him, shaking with relief and wonder.

“And you believe in me all those years.” His father smiled down at him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to help you.”

His father may have been dead before his time, but Erwin had never, ever been manipulated by or hurt by him. “You…were the greatest father there could be.”

“If that was a passive insult to me, I do deserve it,” admitted Grisha.

“Not everything’s about you,” scolded a woman who looked to be Grisha’s mother.

“No, but I made it to be, didn’t I?” Grisha’s eyes remained haunted by heaven. “Apologies will not suffice.”

“That is okay. Understanding the weight of your crimes will,” said Erwin’s father.

Erwin was silent. He recalled the weight of his crimes, even if he’d been forgiven, even if the ghosts of heaven didn’t charge him. He remembered the weight before their final charge.

Guilt was hell.

“I think they’re all curious what happened next,” said the blonde woman, whom Erwin could only assume to be Dina.

“Would you like me to continue?” asked Carla.

“Please, Carla.” Erwin nodded.


	3. Chapter 3: Grisha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Carla facing Grisha at the gate of Heaven.

Chapter Two

Grisha

 

**Sorry for not updating last week – my computer caught fire (actually) and it was all I could do to finish my other story on time.**

**Warning: contains references to sexual assault and torture.**

 

“Carla!” Grisha called. His voice echoed, and it seemed like everyone was staring at him. With emptiness. With disgust.

Frieda Reiss watched him, simmering with indignation.

_I just murdered a family._

He was in hell. But Carla – she shouldn’t be here. Not in hell.

Grisha sunk to the grass, just inside the gate. But he found himself so overcome he stood again, facing the edge.

“You can if you want,” said a voice, a voice sounding like medicine and razors and a fallen wall all at once.

“I have to,” Grisha whispered to the voice, the voice he could only assume to be the god who’d forsaken them.

 _Or maybe I forsook them._ Who knew.

Grisha stepped outside the gate, acrid tears in his eyes.

 

“Hey.” Someone croaked out a greeting before settling beside him.

Grisha spun his head around to see – to see Kruger sitting there, desolate and timid.

“I think you missed your sister there for the victims,” he said.

“Faye?” A shiver rocked Grisha’s body.

“I know how you feel.” Kruger heaved a sigh. “You can’t face her after you’ve killed innocents just like her. You’ll discover can’t be a hypocrite here, not even if you try, so the waiting can last for a very long time. I didn't speak to her for years.”

“Time doesn’t exist here.”

“No, but you’re still able to quantify things. Time is something we understand; eternity isn’t. I rather think our God softens things until we can learn.”

“They didn’t on earth. We never learn,” Grisha said, watching Mikasa deliver a well-deserved punch to Eren’s face.

 _Don’t let him be like me, Mikasa_.

“Maybe we do. How else did I come to regret my complacency? The children I let die to facilitate a rebellion that still hasn’t happened?” Kruger shook his head. “You know, if you want to punch me, you can.”

“I don’t want to. I don’t want violence. I want…to understand. And to be understood.” _And forgiven_. Frieda’s eyes haunted him.

“Why did you save me? Why not the others?” Grisha swallowed hard.

“I didn’t think I could. I still don’t know.” Kruger looked out. “They’re alive, for now.”

            “As titans,” Grisha growled. Dina didn’t deserve this.

            “But there’s hope. You don’t know – the Eldian warriors sent over to infiltrate the walls, the children – one of them was eaten.”

            “No,” whimpered Grisha.

            “His name was Marcel,” Kruger said. Names were reverent here. “But the titan who ate him is now a human. She’s no older than your son, Grisha, and she’s living again.”

            His voice dropped to a whisper. “Her name is Ymir.”

            “Ymir?” Grisha’s eyes widened. How ironic…

            “Ymir will live again.” Kruger stood. “Take what you can from that. And Grisha…I saved you to save myself.” He looked over the horizon, to the world bustling on. “Because I didn’t save your sister. And I was wrong.”

            He left Grisha, then, back by himself. Nothing Kruger had done could erase Faye’s death. Could erase the humiliation of digits snipped off like carrots. Could erase Dina’s pleas as men laughed about fucking royalty and he begged them to do it to him instead, and their response was to burn off his manhood first.

            Nothing he had done would erase Frieda’s death. Urklyn. Dirk. Abel. Florian. Their mother who watched her children squashed like spiders when in fact _he_ was the spider.

            And Zeke, Zeke, Zeke…

            Balling his fists, he looked out. He saw his son – he even wore glasses like him! – pouring over history, desperately aiming to please the men who viewed him as an animal.

            _You want to please me, and now you never will_. Grisha wept.

            And the children – Annie, Bertolt, Reiner – living as refugees, crying in the night, begging for release. Pressure kept them going.

_I did this to my son. And to them._

_I’m so sorry._

            “And now, you’ve done it to Eren.” Faye shook her head at him.

Grisha’s mouth opened, but no sound could escape.

“Are you aware that Dina ate Carla?”

Grisha froze. “No.”

“Yes.”

He sobbed then, sobbed as hard as he had under torture, under Faye’s death.

            “Zeke…I killed him. I already have.”

            “And Eren.”

            “No.” Grisha wiped his eyes. “He’ll find a way. He has Armin and Mikasa…”

            “Speaking of.” The Ackermans stepped outside the gate. “Thank you, Grisha.”

            Grisha stared at them. “M-me…?”

            “You didn’t have to take her in,” said Mrs. Ackerman, squatting down to his eye level. “You know we’re Marleyan.”

            “Of course I did.” Grisha swallowed. Saving Mikasa – he’d been Kruger, trying to save himself. And also –

            he’d realized he just couldn’t leave a child.

            Mr. Ackerman knelt by his wife, his arm wrapped around her. “Many people here are angry with you, and they should be. I’m not. Disappointed, yes, because you’re better than that. But I understand, and I’m not angry anymore.”

            “You saved our daughter, and Mikasa is special. She can help Eren, I know it,” pled Mrs. Ackerman. “Do not despair.”

            “One good deed.” Grisha shrugged, watching hundreds of refugees marching out like cattle. “In a sea of sin.”

            “But … one log can keep you afloat in the sea, right?” Faye peered at him. “Right, big brother?”

            Grisha smiled then as the memory of teaching Faye buoyancy bloomed in his mind. “Faye.”

            “Big brother.” She wrapped her arms around him. “I love you.”

            “I love you, too. I always have,” Grisha sobbed. If only he’d not blasphemed her name with vengeance. If only he’d let her love lead him from the start. If only he’d held onto that love when Wall Maria fell and everything he loved with it.

            “I know.” She squeezed him tight, and when he looked up he saw his parents.

            “Do you forgive me, Grisha?” asked his father.

            “I – I don’t know.” Grisha looked at the grass. What was wrong with him? “Do you forgive me?”

            “Always,” said his mother.

            Faye and the Ackermans forced him to his feet.

            “That woman you married – she’s special,” said his father.

            “Dina?”

            “No. Well, we mean yes, of course she’s special, too,” said his mother. “But Carla, Grisha. We’ve never met anyone who so clearly sees people as they are and loves them for it. She’s wonderful.”

            “Oh.” Grisha sniffled. “Yes, she is.”

            Beyond the gate, there she was, ruffling Marcel’s dark hair and smiling. She stood by Frieda, smiling. She smiled and smiled and radiated love.

            And maybe Eren could take after her. Maybe all was not lost.

            “I’m going to go talk to Marcel.” Faye raced forward, and Carla stood straight, watching Grisha, her husband who still needed to support of the Ackermans and his parents to stand.

            Then they exchanged glances, and their hands were gone, but their love remained strong enough he fell to the dirt, disrupting the seedlings around him.

            Carla watched Grisha quiver against the ground. Outrage and hope for justice, blind hatred driving his family into ruin. Torture worse than cattle, begging for a son he himself had destroyed. Grotesque salvation and finding himself whole again, but somewhere in his heart he could never be healed.

            He hoped she saw not only his shame, but also the hope he’d found when she’d appeared, sassing Mister Keith and living a simple but happy life.

            He hoped she saw that she’d always been his hope.

            That when he’d saved her, he’d saved his hope as well, that he’d loved her and only hid the truth because he wanted to preserve his hope for just a little while longer.

            And then he’s snapped and defamed her memory, too. Just like Faye.

            He felt her hands on his shoulders and gasped. “I – I – I –”

            _I’m sorry_ but he couldn’t grasp the words. He had no right to them anymore.

            She knelt before him, and her hands moved from his shoulders to his hands, tracing the fingers that’d been cut off yet saved her from the plague, to his legs and the private member that’d been burned away like garbage, yet she’d kissed countless times, the part that’d produced her son, up to his heart.

            She dug her fingers in then, around his beating breast. “Grisha.”

            He was too sunk in shame to reply.

Carla kissed his heart and removed his glasses and then she had bent down and rested it on his lap, so that his eyes were looking directly at her. “Please look at me.”

He focused on her eyes then, the color of the sea, the color of Eren’s eyes.

“Thank you.” Carla sat up straight, and lifted his jaw until his eyes once again aligned with hers. “I’m angry.”

“But I forgive you.”

“No.”

“Yes.” She wiped the tears from under his eyes. “Don’t cast yourself outside or into hell. There’s only hell if you make it, and I love you too much to let you.”

“I betrayed you,” he managed.

“Yes. But I won’t betray you back.” Carla forced a smile. “And Eren will learn.”

She kissed him, and Grisha’s heart rose again. Faye and Marcel giggled behind them.

 

**Next up: Armin’s Grandfather, Trost, and a lot of screaming.**


	4. Chapter 4: Thomas. Mina. Mylius. Nac. Hanna. Franz. Grise. Ruth... Marco.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grisha and Carla watch in horror as Eren and his friends suffer the breach of Trost ... and trust.

Chapter Three

Thomas. Mina. Milius. Nac. Hanna. Franz. Grise. Ruth.

Marco.

 

“Is that who I think it is?” Grisha stared at an older man slipping through the gate amongst a sea of faces.

“Yes!” Carla wormed her way through the crowd.

“Carla!” Armin’s grandfather embraced her as she pulled him away from the ceaseless swarm of victims. “Grisha.”

“Is this – h – heaven exists?!”

“It does, and it’s beautiful.” Carla held his hand. “You kept Eren and Mikasa fed. We’re so grateful.”

“I wish I could have kept them safe for longer.”

“You did what you could, while you could,” Grisha said sympathetically. “More than I ever did.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a long story.” Carla balled her hands into fists. “Although, given how the government cast you aside, Grisha, I’m halfway sympathetic to Marley again.”

She glanced back at the sobbing sack of a man by the gate, in the shade and away from everyone. “Except for him.”

“Yeah, he still can’t look at anyone.” Kruger stood nearby, shrugging at his former partner, Sergeant Major Gross.

“Who is he?”

“A bad man. I tried to hug him. Frieda’s even tried. We haven’t gotten anywhere in years. If he speaks, he screams about his sons. They’re in the army, which is about as corrupt as your army, sir.” Faye shook her head. “Hello. Your grandson is very sweet. I wish I could have been like him.”

“You would have,” Grisha said, ruffling her hair.

“Who’s Frieda?!”

Faye pointed to a dark-haired girl hugging every last person at the gate.

“It’s time to sit down,” said Carla.

 

“Keith Shadis, don’t you dare!”

Grisha looked up from his conversation with his mother. “What?”

“He’s messing with Eren’s gear to keep him out of the military!” Carla marched back and forth. “I’d like to give him a good old-fashioned whipping!”

“Carla, I thought you didn’t want him in the military?”

“There’s not much chance if he doesn’t go, right? He’ll never know who you are. And he deserves to know.” Carla stared at him

Grisha hung his head. “Yes, he does.”

His mother placed a hand on her shoulder. “He’ll still love you, as I do.”

But Zeke thought Grisha didn’t love him, and she’d done naught to correct him. Because as her grandson wept over his parents, she hadn’t known the answer.

“If only I could have … I should have been Keith Shadis to Zeke.” Grisha turned to watch.

“Are those – are those the titan children? They won’t teach him.” Carla frowned as Armin and Eren begged Reiner and Bertolt.

But then she saw the colossal’s eyes when Eren mentioned how he’d killed her.

And then she understood. “These children don’t understand.”

The pain in his eyes – she wanted nothing more than to be there, to wipe his fears away, to hold both he and Eren together.

A hush fell over heaven then, the night the armored and colossal titans befriended the son of an Eldian restorationalist and his friend. They wanted to prove their humanity, and Eren wanted to gain his dream.

 _His dream…it’s been perverted. He’s filled with hate, like me_. Grisha swallowed hard.

His dad settled next to him. “I love you, son.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

Grisha glanced at him. “I don’t know.”

“I do.” Faye and Frieda Reiss, who had become fast friends, dashed up.

“Go, Eren!” Faye jumped up and down as he tried out the 3D-MG again.

“His gear’s still broken,” mumbled Grisha’s mother.

“He can do it,” Carla replied hotly.

“He’s standing!” Frieda squealed.

Belief dawned below in Keith Shadis’ eyes. He stepped forward. “Springer, switch belts with Jaeger.”

Carla gasped, and Grisha’s mother smiled.

As Eren stood proud, Keith whispered, “Grisha, today your son has become a soldier.”

And Grisha wept from pride and fear alike.

 

“No, Grisha – why?” Carla shook his shoulder. “Look – it’s Bertolt – the child! He’s a titan again!”

“We knew that would happen,” Grisha said, tears in his eyes.

“But he’s Eren’s friend.” Carla pressed a hand over her mouth. “He taught him to use 3D-MG.”

 _I contributed to this_. Grisha squeezed his eyes shut. _I wanted Zeke to endure this._

“No,” moaned Frieda as the gate was kicked to rubble. “Bertolt, why? You’re better than this!”

Carla spun around to the Person, as tears slid down their face like waterfalls. “Stop this.”

“I would if I could.”

Carla sobbed against Grisha’s shoulder. No one deserved to die as she had, helpless in the arms of another titan.

Then Eren was leading a squad, but Mikasa couldn’t come.

“Of all the foolish decisions!” fumed Carla.

“There’s still hope,” Frieda said. “They’ve lived three years among friends. They might yet stop this. Please.”

 _No, brainwashing is not so easily undone._ But Grisha kept his fears to himself.

“Grise?” Grisha watched in horror as his former friend – no, still his friend, titan or not – dove for Eren’s squad.

A boy sunk into its mouth and Carla screamed, screamed because that was all she could do. And the Person screamed along with her.

“Eren, stop!” Grisha watched his son rage forward, in full metaphor of all he’d done in his youth.

“Stop!” The titan who’d killed Gross, who’d been his close ally, devoured a concussed child, and Grisha found himself rolling on the grass in agony.

“He’s dying; our son is dying!” cried Carla.

“He’ll heal,” muttered Grisha, lifting himself back to his knees.

“But –”

“Armin!” shrieked his grandfather, but by this point Carla was numb.

And then –

Eren dove forward –

Removed Armin –

And mentioned the sea –

Grisha’s heart exploded with hope, even when his son’s arm flew out of his former friend’s mouth, even as his son sunk into his belly.

“Thomas!” Frieda and Faye raced towards the gate.

The blonde blinked. “Where –?”

Carla cleared her throat, glancing briefly at the boy, God forgive her. “Heaven. Where else?”

“H-heaven?”

“Yes. I’m Eren’s aunt.” Faye clasped his hand. “His dad is there, and so is his mom. I’m so sorry.”

“I – I just should have lasted longer! I’ve accomplished nothing. And I wanted to join the Survey Corps, when I succumbed before anyone.” Thomas shook.

“We didn’t last much beyond you.” Mina Carolina appeared, pulling Mylius and Nac behind her.

“I’m so ashamed.”

“You’ll last forever now,” Faye promised.

 

“Hanna…” Franz groaned.

“Wake up. You’ll be okay.” Carla shook another of Eren’s friends. Her son had saved Mikasa, Armin had recovered his wits, and she was now able to summon all her energy for Eren’s friends.

“Hanna!” Franz sat straight up, staring below.

“I’m sorry.” Carla coughed as the delirious girl desperately tried to revive her love. She’d have done the same for Grisha.

“Let me go. Run!” wailed Franz as Armin left, as a titan approached.

“It lifted her by her hair – by her hair – and she didn’t even fight.

“Hanna,” Franz moaned.

But then the girl appeared, and as sad as he was, the boy only cared to see her again.

“Franz!” She blinked.

“I love you!” As he kissed her, he knew he ought to have told her long ago, but at least he had now and forever.

“And love will go on,” Carla said, smiling at Grisha.

He couldn’t help but smile back.

 

“So let me get this straight. You never became a titan, your son killed me, and he has the Coordinate?” A restorationalist, _the_ abnormal who’d devoured Thomas, glared at Grisha.

“Precisely.” Carla knelt beside her husband.

She seemed a good and honest woman, to Grise’s grudging approval.

“I still want to know what you did to Zeke,” muttered the restorationalist.

“I used him,” Grisha said simply. “And I wish my apologies could upend that. They can’t.”

“Hey, you’re the one that ate me!” Thomas stomped forward.

His eyes widened.

“And _you_ ate me!” Mina burst into tears as another restorationalist appeared.

He stared in shock. “Grisha, I –” His eyes refocused on Mina. “I’m sorry; I’m so sorry!”

“Well, we’ll leave you to it,” Grisha said softly.

 

“Sucks, doesn’t it.”

Grisha froze. “Grise.”

“Yeah. I’ve avoided you for so long. But now – with so many comrades showing up – I can’t.” His recruiter, his friend turned indicter, shuffled his feet against the grass. “Hi.”

“I don’t know how to apologize.”

“You don’t have to. And neither do I, really,” admitted Grise. “But here – oh, we shouldn’t fight anymore.”

“I agree.” Grisha gripped his friend’s hand.

“That’s all well and good, but someone is dying below.” Carla pointed with a shaking hand.

“No,” Grisha croaked as Marco Bodt, friend of Eren and everyone, confronted the Eldian spies.

When Reiner jumped him, Grisha already knew what would happen, despite Faye’s wailing and Carla’s pleas.

“Let’s go.” He interrupted them to march forward, to plant himself at the gateway to heaven.

A glance behind showed Mina, Thomas, Nac, Mylius, Ruth D. Kline, Hanna and Franz and Carla and Faye and Frieda behind him.

As they wept along with the titan trio, Marco Bodt appeared, gasping at the world before him.

“Marco!” Carla threw her arms around him. “Bless your kind, kind soul!”

“You deserved better,” agreed Thomas.

“I’m still mad at them,” declared Mina. “I haven’t forgiven them yet, don’t you worry.”

“But why – why would they do this?” sobbed Marco.

“Brainwashing,” Grisha replied simply. “I’m Eren’s father, Marco.”

“Oh. The doctor.” Marco’s eyes widened.

“Yes. And the quite possibly the reason we’re in this mess.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. The world’s more complex than you,” Frieda shot back. She smiled at the bewildered, befreckled boy before her. “Marco, I’m Frieda Reiss. I’ll explain it all, but Jean is watching you now –”

“He’s what?” Marco noticed the Person beyond. “I –”

“It’s okay,” The Person assured. “Watch over Jean.”

“I’ll never stop,” mumbled Marco as his friend sobbed.

“Ooooh.” Frieda grinned.

Marco blushed. “Is this – are my feelings –”

“Valid? Beautiful? Yes,” said the Person.

Marco fell to his knees and sobbed. He’d never imagined the acceptance he felt then, even as he cried for Jean’s suffering. _I love you, and I’ll never stop_.

“We all love Jean,” Faye assured him. “But you’re special to him.”

And only now he knew for certain. Marco wiped his eyes.

At least he’d told him.

At least Jean knew that weakness was his strength.

“You know that’s right,” Ruth growled at Annie apologized to her body. “ _Do_ something.”

“I feel bad for them,” Marco said suddenly. If the Person could love all, so could he. If weakness was strength, then all that was foolish could be good.

“What?” Nac turned to him.

“I – they can’t have wanted this. What turns children into killers?” Marco turned to Frieda. “Explain, please.”

The princess glanced at Grisha.

“I can,” said Grisha. “Though I may not deserve to.”

“Then I’ll try.” Carla smiled at Grisha, and her eyes held more love than had ever existed on the earth. “But first – Marco Bodt, you are the reason I hope.”

 


	5. Ian and Mitabi. Dita and Luke. Gunther, Eld, Petra, and Oluo.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grisha wrestles with his guilt as his son comes into powers he never should have had.

Chapter Four

Ian and Mitabi

Dita and Luke

Gunther, Eld, Petra, and Oluo

 

“You’re Eren Jaeger’s father, am I correct?” Two Garrison members hurried forward.

“And his mother,” said Grisha, nodding at Carla, who bit back a smile.

“I’m Ian Dietrich. This is Mitabi.” Ian saluted the Jaegers. “Your son saved our town.”

“I’m sorry all of you had to offer your lives,” Carla said, noting Grisha’s discomfort.

“We’re happy they’re safe for now,” Mitabi said. “It was worth it. I mean, I’d love to live again, but I’d die a hundred times to ensure Trost’s safety.”

“You will live again. And you already are,” said the Person with a gentle smile.

Mitabi flushed. “If only it felt like that. You understand.”

“I do,” agreed the Person.

“Now,” said Ian. “What is this master plan of Pixis’s? Oh, and Erwin, now, should he prevail.”

“They won’t kill my son,” Carla said angrily.

“I hope not,” Ian said, glancing down at the trial.

“Eren, shut up,” Grisha muttered as his son screamed out his feelings. Feelins he had no right to condemn, for how often had he wished to vent as Eren was?

“They’re kicking him.” Carla covered her eyes.

“They need to,” Ian said uncomfortably. “Unfortunately.” He had to admire Rico’s restraint.

“I know,” Grisha said. “Give us a moment, would you? Until we can divulge my secrets.”

“Understood.” Ian held his breath.

“I mean…” Faye shrugged.

“They’ll let him go. They have to,” Frieda insisted.

“You still have faith in the government?” Thomas asked.

“No, but I have faith in men and women such as these.” She pointed below.

“They’re letting him go,” Marco said eagerly.

“In custody,” Carla said, her heart aching.

Faye saw the relief glistening in Grisha’s eyes. “You’re happy he let it out, aren’t you?”

“I wonder – if I’d been allowed to –”

“Don’t think like that.” She slipped an arm around him. “Although, brother, do you know how often I longed to beat you while you yammered on about Ymir’s children?”  

Despite himself, Grisha chuckled. “I let you win when we were children, as I recall.”

“You let me?” Faye socked his shoulder. “Bastard.”

 

“Are you okay?” Frieda crouched next to Marco.

“Not really.” He swallowed hard as the new Survey Corps swore their vows. As Jean pledged his soul on Marco’s memory.

_I’m with you._

“You wish to join them.” Frieda watched her sister quaking, crying, yet swearing regardless. _I’d be there for you, Historia, if only I could._ _Even if it broke every rule._

“How can they swear an oath like they mean it, when they’re murderers?” Marco watched Reiner’s face shimmer with righteousness, Bertolt’s with desperation.

He glanced back to where Sonny and Bean – he hadn’t met them yet – were being embraced by Grisha Jaeger. At least Annie hadn’t been hypocritical after killing them.

“Because in some sense, this sort of sacrifice and bravery and – nobility, I suppose – is what they really want. They’ll chase after any chance for it, however fleeting.” Frieda recalled the rage of peasants she’d condemned as sinners who deserved to die in filth. She recalled the weight of the three walls upon her shoulders, her teenage shoulders, that prevented all apologies. Not because she didn’t regret, but because she didn’t deserve forgiveness while she confined humanity to a pacifist gone too far.

She would fetch water and milk and bread for the peasants later, but with the full knowledge that her kindness could never absolve her words. She’d chased that purity anyway.

Maybe these poor titan children, these poor Eldians, were the same.

“I’m not mad they killed me. Well, not much.” Marco chuckled. “I just wish they could change.”

“Me too, Marco.” Frieda nodded with a lump in her throat. “Me too.”

 

“I have a bad feeling about this mission,” muttered Kruger to Ian. “The Commander’s gambling.”

“It’s all Smith knows, and I’d do the same,” admitted Ian. Memories of fighting without 3D gear, of being shoved into a titan’s mouth, surfaced. “I _have_ done the same.”

“So would I. Doesn’t mean it won’t end badly,” said Kruger, shoving his hands in his pockets.

More soldiers filed back. The 104th casualties, from Marco to Ruth to Franz and Hanna, to Mina, Thomas, Nac, and Mylius, watched their comrades with bated breath.

“I regret wanting the Garrison,” Ruth said quietly.

“I don’t,” Hanna admitted. “But I’m glad you do.”

Ruth smiled.

Grisha paced nervously by the gate.

“Kid, please,” muttered Kruger.

“Don’t tell him to quell his emotions anymore,” said Mr. Jaeger.

“Dear, I know you think you’re helping, speaking up after all these years, but I don’t think you are,” piped up Mrs. Jaeger, earning a smirk from Kruger.

“Look.” Marco was on his knees next to Faye and Frieda, crying and praying as Annie in titan form decimated the right flank.

“Fuck! Fuck!” screamed Grisha. He glanced back.

“You’re allowed to express,” said the Person. “Or did you think transformation stopped after death?”

“I – I guess not,” said Grisha, recalling his reconciliation with Carla.

Men and women gathered outside, and two people shoved past the crowd to greet the newcomers. One was an older man with a striking resemblance to Commander Smith, another a young woman with a face like Levi’s. Grisha had never seen them before.

He felt frozen, but Carla joined them, though she spared a sweet smile for him.

“It takes time,” Kruger said behind him. “Time, and practice.”

And so the Night Owl himself went forward, but Grisha still couldn’t.

“No.” Marco wiped his eyes and nose as Dita Ness and Luke Siss took on Annie. He knew the outcome, he knew her – and they didn’t. “Do I have to watch?”

“No,” said Faye sadly.

He covered his eyes.

“Sometimes,” said Frieda, “I think closing your eyes can be brave.”

“Let’s meet them.” Faye tugged him forward.

“You helped my friends!” Marco launched himself into Dita’s arms.

“Uh – heyyyyy.” Dita nodded at Marco. “Um, Luke, where are we?”

“We’re in heaven. And it’s never felt less so,” said Siss with a frown. “What good has dying accomplished? I just – I just let her squish me, Dita, like a gnat, and now the operation’s in danger –”

“The operation,” said Marco, pulling away from a slightly relieved Dita, “we can watch.”

“Watch more die?” Siss shook his fist at the Person. “Damn you! I’ll – I’ll stay outside – wherever you _aren’t_.”

And then he looked at the Person, and even in his wrath he knew he’d badly misjudged. And he fell to his knees and sobbed.

Dita had finished straightening his bandana. He knelt besides Luke. “Don’t give up, Luke. We may yet to some good. Here. Even dead.”

“We still exist, don’t we?” Marco sat before them.

Another soldier stumbled over Marco. “Oh! I’m sorry! What –”

“Is it possible to get trampled to death and re-enter heaven?” grumbled Dita.

“Thankfully,” said Marco with a grin, “No.”

Siss turned his tear-stained soul towards Marco. “You’re part of the 104th, aren’t you?”

            “You wear it well,” said Dita, and nothing could have honored Marco more.

 

            “Look out!” Grisha’s heart ached for his son. _Choose to trust your comrades. Obey._ But _choose_. Eren had to choose for himself.

            “Breathe.” Carla entwined their fingers.

            “Carla, I’m dead either way.”

            “Still. You’ll feel better.”

            “I know,” Grisha confessed. “But I can’t watch this.”

            “You don’t have to.”

            “It’s my punishment. My hell in heaven.”   

“Stop it,” said his mother. “Please. You don’t – if you do, so do we –”

“No, I mean –”

“We abandoned Faye for safety,” said his father. His voice broke. “You have no idea how much I regret that – and how much I regret silencing you – I keep wondering if I had been different – ”

“You feared for me, too,” said Grisha, himself in tears. “It’s not your fault.”

“She’s been caught!” Faye clapped a hand over her mouth.

“I don’t like this. They don’t know enough,” Grisha said to Kruger, who merely nodded with his irritating brand of calm.

Meanwhile, Marco had prodded Luke Siss and Dita Ness into heaven.

Heaven, real enough that no one was surprised when Annie screamed, where they cried both for the lives about to be lost and for her pain, where they found that mourning together was all they needed right then.

 _No_ , thought Grisha. _I won’t give in to groupthink. I need this to stop._

The Person’s eyes were sad. They would not approve groupthink.

 _But can humans help it? We’re hopeless, even here_. Grisha clapped his hands against his forehead as Gunther Shultz’s throat burst open. “Eren!”

The pain his son was feeling – Grisha collapsed.

As Squad Levi desperately cut ito the titan, Grisha knew what would happen. He was not surprised when Eld was bit in two, when Petra was thrown into a tree, when Oluo was extinguished.

But then he saw Gunther first, and Eld, hesitating, waiting for their comrades to materialize.

They hugged each other and cried.

 

“I lasted longest.” Oluo shoved Petra playfully.

“Oh, someone’s talking like himself for once,” Petra exclaimed. “Guess this heaven works miracles after all.”

Then she pressed her lips against his.

Siss had to grab Dita’s hands to keep him from clapping.

“Did you know about this?” Gunther hissed to Eld, who nodded with a grin. “I saw no signs!”

“It’s about knowing _people_ , not signs,” Eld whispered back. Then he wrapped one arms around the couple, another around Gunther, and steered them towards their final journey.

 

When Squad Levi turned around to face the gate together, friends in life and life after life, they saw a cloud of myriad witnesses admiring them.

A bespectacled man raced forward. “You loved my son!”

And much like Carla had regained hope with Marco’s help, Grisha found himself regaining hope with Squad Levi, a Squad so powerful they didn’t even need to speak to him for hope to be restored.

In this moment, he knew every sob in his heart, every scream of rage, every mutilation and tender moment with Carla and Dina, every time his sons snuggled in his arms – these moments made humanity worthwhile.

           

 

 


	6. Chapter 6: Mike

 

Chapter Five

Mike

 

“Don’t watch,” Faye pled, tugging on Carla’s arm.

Carla pulled free. “How can I not? That’s my son fighting his friend.” Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes as sorry souls stumbled through the gate.

Grisha had wandered off not long ago, saying something about watching Zeke. But when Carla followed Faye’s pointed finger, she saw her husband curled into a hyperventilating ball on the grass.

“Grisha?” Carla frowned and took a step towards him, only to hesitate.

            Eren.

            “Eren will be okay,” Faye whispered. “I’ll fetch you if otherwise.”

            “Okay…” Carla said uncertainly.

            “You’re not a bad mom for this. Or for dying. You never have been,” Faye told her.

            Carla swallowed back tears. “Thank you, Faye.”

            What would life be like if this precious child had lived? Would she even know Grisha? Carla hurried towards her husband.

            Zeke was easy to spot. Bare-chested and bespectacled, he resembled a golden-haired Grisha.

            And he was disembarking. Diving from a stone wall, spraying sand in all directions.

            “He’s come to Paradi,” Grisha croaked.

            “For what?” Carla asked, though she knew the answer. Zeke, her stepson – had become Eren’s enemy.

           

            “Are you Squad Levi? The Special Operations Squad?” A pretty black-haired woman smiled at Petra.

            “Yes, we are.” Petra was leaning against Oluo, who nestled against a tree. Eld and Gunther sat across from them on grass ground softer than her bed at home.

            The Survey Corps had survived another day. Captain had survived another day. Now they had discovered that, even in heaven, their hearts needed a rest.

            “I’m so pleased to meet you. What is working for Levi like?” The woman sat close to Petra, unable to keep eye contact with the men.

            “An honor,” said Petra. She blushed. “And he’s quite handsome.”

            “Hey!”

            “Hey yourself, Oluo. I can’t change a fact.” Petra stuck out her tongue.

            “Captain’s harsh, but kind,” Eld said.

            “He’s a great role model. Perfectly dedicated,” Gunther mused.

            “Who are you?” Oluo asked.

            The woman smiled at the ground. “I’m Kuchel Ackerman. Your captain’s mother.”

            Oluo’s mouth dropped.

            “I passed on when he was very little. He was the best part of my life.”

            “Wait – I mean – are we really talking to Levi’s mom?” Oluo sputtered.

            “Yes, yes we are.” Gunther nodded.

            “You raised a wonderful son,” Petra said, taking the other woman’s hand.

            “I barely knew him,” she admitted. “He was so young.”

            “Well, you must have set him on the right path before you went. He hates death and suffering more than dirtiness.” Petra pursed her lips. “And he hates dirtiness quite a bit.”

            Kuchel blushed. “I’d love to think so, but you might as well know, I was a prostitute. I shielded and taught him as best I could, but I often don’t believe it was enough. Still…when I see him fighting for freedom, I have to think something went right.”

            “It did,” Eld assured her.

            “Kuchel!” A girl with auburn-haired pigtails raced over, waving wildly. She was followed closely by a nervous brown-haired young man. “Oh, is this them? Squad Levi?”

            “We are,” Gunther said warily.

            “We were his original squad,” the man informed them with an embarrassed smile. “Sort of.”

            “I’m Isabel Magnolia, and this is Farlan Church,” the girl babbled. “Erwin recruited us ‘cause we were thieves with Levi in the underground. But we didn’t make it past our first mission.”

            “Though we did kill one titan before we died,” Farlan added proudly.

            “On your first mission?” Oluo raised his eyebrows. “I’m impressed. Guess we in the squad must have reminded him of them – ow, Petra!”

            Isabel leaned forward, her eyes sparkling. “But we did plan on killing Erwin for secret documents. But he outsmarted us.”

            Oluo choked. “Wait, what?”

            “I can’t picture that,” Petra said, rubbing her eyes.

            “But hey, now he, Erwin, and Mike are friends.” Farlan shook his head in amazement.

            Isabel stomped her foot. “We’ll always be his _first_ friends.”

            Eld chuckled. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet the original Squad Levi.”

            “I’m sure we have so many stories to share,” Isabel said, flopping next to Kuchel. “Kuchel likes my stories, don’t you, Kuchel?”

            “Always,” she answered with a smile.

 

            “So the walls _are_ made of titans.” Faye’s eyes were wide. “I mean, we’ve always known that, but, brother, aren’t they beautiful? If only they were kind…”

            “Beautiful?” Grisha frowned.

            “We’re able to transform into giant creatures of immense power. Imagine if they could be used for good. It’s special. Eren’s special, and Zeke too. It’s amazing and beautiful.”

            “Hmm.” Grisha swallowed as the roofs and walls of Ragako Village blew apart. “Are we not monsters? Like … like he said to me.” He looked towards the tree under which Gross still quivered.

            “Victims, not monsters.” A tear trickled down Frieda’s face.

            “Perhaps.” Grisha took in a shuddery breath. “And my son behind this.”

            “Your other son can save them.” Carla knelt besides him.

            “My friends are too close.” Marco approached now, his very eyes trembling.

            “And yet, they’re the only hope Wall Rose has,” said Frieda, watching Nanaba fall to her knees.

           

            By the time the Survey Corps had rode forth, even Squad Levi had stopped swapping stories and fallen silent. All watched as Mike Zacharius took off from the group.

            “They’re right, you know,” Petra said uncertainly. “He is the second strongest.”

            Gunther bowed his head, but Eld rose.

            “Where are you going?” asked Farlan.

            “Thought I should be by the gate – to greet the titans Mike defeats,” he lied lamely.

            “You’re a terrible liar,” said Isabel, but she stood, too.

           

            Grisha clutched his face in horror. “Zeke…”

            _Don’t turn around. Don't see him. Don’t hurt your countryman._

            And even as Zeke turned and his eyes glistened in the sunlight, black against black hair, Grisha dared to hope. Maybe his son – no, _Zeke_ , he was his own person – would beg for help. Maybe all the lessons he and Dina had taught hadn’t been lost on him. Maybe he didn’t hate everything his parents were.

            Carla shrieked as Zeke threw the horse.

            “Not the horse,” whimpered Faye. Frieda’s hand clamped over her mouth, while Marco watched with his fists clenched.

            Mike dove and for a moment Petra dared herself to hope that he knew what he was doing; he was _Mike_ of course –

            “He’s moving too fast,” Oluo said, confirming her fears.

            A squat titan opened its jaws and the watchers collectively wailed as it caught Mike.

            “Gaaaaaaaah!”

            “No,” sobbed Isabel. She knew him as the powerful man who’d shoved Levi’s face in the mud, and she wanted him to stay that way.

            “Hold on,” growled the Ape Titan.

            Zeke.

            Grisha gaped Carla. “M-maybe he’s changed his mind –”

            She didn’t reply. Her eyes overflowed with pity.

            “I _said_ hold on!” Rage bubbled up from Zeke.

            The rage of someone who’d never been listened to their entire life. The same rage Grisha’d let loose when he declared himself a believer in Ymir.

            Grisha collapsed to his hands and knees as his heart shattered again. Eldians dominated by Marley, walled people dominated by Titans, a child by his parents. _He’d taught Zeke to dominate right back._ _He’d made Zeke into himself._

            Zeke squished the titan’s head so that its shiny eyes and bloody brains and crusty skull splurted every which way.

            Eld gulped tried to steady his quaking hands. Fear for your friend and comrade was much worse than fear for yourself, especially when he sat up here a helpless ghost.

            _Oh, but you are so much more than a ghost,_ whispered the Person.

            _I might as well be to Mike_ , Eld retorted.

            Mike tumbled to the earth, and Zeke crouched before him. “What is that weapon? The one on your hips that you use to fly around?”

            Mike – _Mike Zacharius_ – trembled, too shocked and spent to speak.

           Petra knew she would have done no different, but oh was this shocking all the same.

            “Speak,” muttered Grisha. “Speak!”

            But Mike just lay there, even as titans crept closer, hungry for his flesh.

            “I thought we spoke the same language. Are you just to frightened to speak?” mused Zeke. “Well, you use swords and know we’re in the neck. I guess I’ll just…take this with me.”

            He reached for Mike, but as the Ape Titan began to move away, Petra noticed a familiar spark in Mike’s eyes.

            _His legs are too injured…but he’s going to try_. A muffled sob escaped from her mouth – pride and indignation and sorrow all at once.

            Zeke paused, a smirk on his face. “Oh, that’s right. I almost forgot. You’re free to do with him as you wish.”

            “Wait!” screamed Mike as titan hands knocked his blade askew, as they fought for him.

            Zeke threw back his head. “Oh, so we do speak the same language after all!”

            Mike screamed, not with pain, but with the fury of someone who knew he deserved better.

            And Grisha’s mouth opened in a silent scream, but he was too heartsick to form sound.

            This was the worst moment of his life.

           

            Mike opened his eyes as the dizziness faded. Had someone found him...?

            No, this place was too serene. And he felt no pain anymore. He ought to.

            A bolt of excitement jolted him. Was this – did heaven exist after all?

            “Mike!”

            He looked beyond the wrought-iron gate to see Petra, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther waiting with Isabel and Farlan – if they thought he’d forgotten their names they were wrong –

            When an older, bespectacled man rushed forward and threw his arms around him. “Mike! Mike! Mike.”

            “Um…hi?”

            The man pulled back, his grin brighter than the sun. “You were my boy’s best friend. Erwin.”

            Mike dropped back to his knees. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

            “And I’ve loved watching every moment of you with my son,” said Mr. Smith. “Don’t you know, that’s the best and the worst part of being here: watching your loved ones back on Earth. But you’ve been key in many of my better moments.


	7. Lynne, Henning, Gelgar, and Nanaba

Chapter Six

Lynn, Henning, Gelgar, and Nanaba

 

“Wait.” Mike clapped a hand on Mr. Smith’s shoulder. “Below…is that –”

“Yes, those are your friends,” Mr. Smith said quietly.

“They’re going to be good as dead trapped in a tower with titans about,” Mike said angrily.

“Do you really think so little of them?” Mr. Smith smiled. “No, you’re just frustrated that you can’t help them. I know the feeling.”

Mike swallowed. “Yes, I suppose that’s something you’ve felt often?”

“Of course.” Mr. Smith glanced away, towards his son, with a gentle smile on his face.

“Mike, you’ll never believe this!” Isabel thought it best to distract a recently murdered man from his comrade’s impending doom.

“Believe what?” Mike turned to her with a quizzical frown.

“This is Levi’s mother!” Isabel threw an arm around Kuchel. “She’s so nice!”

“But very neat,” Farlan pointed out.

Kuchel blushed at their praise and extended her hand to Mike. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“She’s long given up the notion of rubbing your face in mud,” Mr. Smith said with a grin.

“To be fair, I was pleased you were helping him rise above the thief he was never meant to be,” Kuchel said. “I just would have chosen a…less messy punishment.”

Mike narrowed his eyes. “You’re so nice. How.”

“You’ll have to blame my early death,” Kuchel said. “And my brother.”

“But I see you in his heart,” Petra said. “There’s sweetness still. Beneath all the shit jokes.”

Kuchel laughed. “It is funny, isn’t it, that he jokes about filth?”

“I’m sure there’s some interesting psychology there.” Mr. Smith stroked his beard.

A wail broke into Mike’s attention. A slender man with long brown hair was sobbing against a pretty woman who looked not unlike Eren Jaeger. “Who is that? Can people really be unhappy here?”

“Yes, if they choose,” Isabel said sadly.

“That’s Grisha Jaeger,” said Gunther.

“The basement man?” Mike’s eyes lit up. _Ha, Erwin, I’m about to learn before you._

“Yes, but, um…” Petra fumbled for the words.

“Well,” said Eld.

“Oh, out with it. His son’s the Ape Titan. His other son. Not Eren, obviously.” Oluo sniffed.

Mike stiffened. “What?”

“It’s a story I’ve longed to hear myself,” said Mr. Smith.

“Well, I’d say we’ve earned it! Especially…you, sir.” Oluo coughed in Mike’s direction.

“What is this place?” A familiar voice rang out behind them.

Mike spun around. “Lynne! And Henning.”

“Looks like you’re not the Ape’s only victim,” Gunther said grimly.

“Mike?” Lynne stood, shakily, and reached for the gate to keep her balance. But then she drew back, as if not touching heaven would render her death less real.

But then she saw Henning still below her, and reached to pull him to his feet.

Mike rushed to embrace them. “What happened?”

“What the hell is this place?” Henning repeated.

“Can you not guess?” murmured the Person behind them all.

“Move, Gelgar!” Petra clapped her hands on her cheeks.

“They’re okay. For now,” Oluo said.

Mike hesitated. As much as he wished to talk to Grisha, to his friends, he dared not take his eyes off Nanaba and Gelgar, fighting for the kids in their charge.

 _Nanaba, stay strong_. As much as he’d love to see her again – and feel her soft hands in his – he wanted her alive more than anything.

“Dammit! All I wanted was one last drink!” Gelgar choked out as titans surrounded him.

They surrounded Nanaba too, advancing towards her.

Mike stumbled to the gate, fighting the urge to cry. At least here there seemed no shame in tears – Grisha remained inconsolable.

Titans began fighting over Nanaba and Gelgar and Nanaba as if they were meat for dogs, yanking their bodies one way, then another. Mike gagged as Nanaba’s leg was ripped clean off.

            She didn’t deserve this. Gelgar didn’t, either. They should not have to die the way he had.

            And Gelgar came first, naturally. “Oomph!”

            “Hey, buddy.” Lynne knelt before him, a flash in her hand. “Welcome to heaven.”

            He gaped at them. “I’m dreaming.”

            “No, we’re quite real.” Henning chuckled. “And you’re quite dead.”

            “Gee, thanks.” Gelgar snatched the flask. “If this is heaven, I expect high quality –“

            “The highest,” The Person interrupted.

            Gelgar – Gelgar! – dropped the flask. “ _You_?”

            “I.”

            “Me? Me, here?” Gelgar lowered his head.

            “Why not you?”

            “I – I suppose…I don’t know; I’ve never thought why not before.” Gelgar’s lips trembled as Petra picked up his flask, which had already refilled.

            Light interrupted him, golden light the color of Nanaba’s hair.

            Mike leapt forward and slid to his knees just in time to catch her as she materialized, fully limbed and perfect.

            “Nanaba.”

            Mike? Nanaba traced his scruff with her fingers. _You’re alive_.

            _We’re all here. We’re all alive_. In a moment that felt like an infinite spring bloom, Nanaba realized everything she’d ever hoped for was true. “Mike!”

            She threw her arms around him. “Did – did I –”

            He leaned back to look at her lovely face, her large blue eyes and wispy golden hair. “You’re so brave. Braver in death than I was,’ Mike told her, his voice thick with emotion.

            Her face crumbled with happiness. “Oh, Mike.”

            “The kids are in trouble,” said Lynne nervously.

            “No, they’re not,” said Nanaba.

            Everyone looked at her in puzzlement.

            “I – I don’t know how to explain it. Don’t you see? Everything is beautiful in the end. They’re going to be okay. I know it.” Nanaba lifted her eyes to stare the Person in the face, as if she’d known them her whole life. “Right?”

            “I have no reason to doubt.”

            “Then let’s focus on here.” Nanaba peered into the gate, into heaven. “Like that crying man over there.”

            “He’s the Beast Titan’s dad,” said a girl with auburn pigtails.

            “Also Eren’s dad,” Oluo added.

            Nanaba blinked. “Well. All the more reason to see to him. Come on, Mike.”

            “Wait. I – I never told you I loved you. And I do. I love you, Nanaba,” said Mike. His face reddened as he saw Oluo, Petra, Eld, and Gunther smirking at him.

            Nanaba furrowed her brow. “But you did tell me. You gave me back hope, remember? You might as well have told me then. You’re not as subtle as you think.”

            “And?” Gelgar prompted.

            “And I love him, too,” she declared, jumping to plant a kiss on his lips.

            “Well, at least we won’t have to deal with Erwin and Levi and Hange here,” Mike joked.

            Nanaba threw back her head. “True!”

           

            “Hey there, you.”

            Grisha lifted his heavy, heavy head to see many recently slaughtered Survey Corps behind him.

            “Your son killed me,” Mike said stiffly.

            “And that’s why we’re going to give you this,” said Nanaba.

            To Grisha’s surprise and Carla’s delight, he found himself wrapped in their embrace.


	8. Chapter Seven: Hannes and ... Dina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get awkward when Dina appears.

Chapter Seven

Hannes and…Dina

 

            “Thank you,” she had said. And then smiled.

            With tears and every ounce of courage she had left.

            More courage than he.

            Hans glanced at the children surrounding him, children sharpened into soldiers, the children whose salvation had saved him.

            He’d once told Eren it was better to have a complacent life. Even now, he wasn’t sure he was wrong. But at least he could look in the mirror without shaking his head now.

            “You,” he growled to the monster towering above him, as more monsters pressed closer, but this one, this one was all he could see.

            He leapt forward, summoning all the strength of Carla Jaeger.

           And when he felt its hands clamp upon him, he realized that all her strength, all his strength, was not enough.

            _Maybe not_ , he thought desperately as his limbs were torn from him. _How could this be happening_? Revenge, he needed vengeance. For justice. For _Carla_.           But her strength – as his faded, as even his vision began to blur and all her saw was red and a wish for the children to survive again – this strength was enough to carry him forth, as darkness shone and death came.

            He was dying, but his eyes were wide open. And he would die with pride.

           

            “Mr. Hannes!” Carla wrapped her arms around him. “You saved my children!”

            “Carla.” Hannes’ eyes filled with tears. “I had not expected to see you so soon.”

            Below them – oh, he still saw Eren and Mikasa, saw the smile on the grim girl’s face. “Why aren’t you watching them?”

            “Because she knows humanity has already won,” a tall woman said. Beside her was Mike Zacharius. Oh, what was her name – Nanaba.

            His eyes widened. “Is that Grisha?”

            Grisha was shaking. “That’s the titan that ate you?”

            _No matter what, Grisha, I will find you._

            “No. She killed me before she ate me,” Carla said quietly.

            “She?” His pitch rose to a squeak.

            “Something about her seems feminine.” Carla shrugged. “I pity her, really. Say, Grisha, what is wrong?”

            Something cracked below, and Carla gasped as Eren, her Eren, punched a titan, that smiling titan. Just to save Mikasa, just to remember her and Hannes.

           “Eren,” she wailed, expecting the smiling, trapped human to squeeze her precious son.

            And then – and then all the titans were swarming the smiling one, screaming and tearing at its flesh.

            “What?” Carla breathed, tears filing her eyes. _My boy remembers me. My boy is changing the world for his family._

            The titan howled as another gangly titan launched itself at its neck, only to be chomped by a larger titan desperate for flesh, any flesh.

            “What’s happening?” Petra exclaimed.

            Frieda and Faye exchanged glances. “The coordinate.”

            “Coordinate?” Carla eyed a shaking Grisha.

            “She ate you!” he screeched suddenly.

            “You knew her?” Carla demanded.

            “More than that,” Faye said softly.

            Grisha moaned as a bedraggled young woman collapsed outside heaven. Even from the gate, Carla knew who she was.

            “You…you’re the smiling one.” Carla shook, but she stepped forward all the same. She had to. Someone had to.

            The woman lifted a tear-stained face. “Is it over?”

            “Yes,” Carla said, kneeling before her. “You’re free.”

            “Did I…Grise…how many did I kill? And my son.” The woman wrung her hands.

            “Grise is here,” Carla assured her, helping the woman to her feet. “So are many of your comrades. Eldian restorationalists, right? I’m Carla Jaeger – I’m from inside the walls, and you may have killed me but I hold no grudge. I promise. You’re free.”

            “Are you a relative of Grisha’s? Is he here?” The woman pushed back a strand of golden hair. “I’m Dina, Dina Jaeger. I was his wife.”

            Carla’s smile vanished.

            “Dina.” Grisha appeared behind Carla, with longer hair and glasses and more years on his face, but here nonetheless.

            “Grisha!” She rushed to him, thrust her arms around him as she had when they’d first met, when her impulsivity had shocked his hardened heart.

            He returned the hug as awkwardly as he had the first time.

            “Pardon the interruption, but after so many years, you should embrace her more,” Carla said coldly.

            She’d known, of course, he’d been married before. She’d known his wife was a titan and their son was Zeke the brainwashed traitor. But _the woman who’d killed her was Grisha’s wife_?

            Dina pulled back to look at Carla in confusion. Carla, the woman who’d just shown her so much kindness, was now tapping her foot and glaring at her beloved husband.

            “I was never made a titan, Dina,” Grisha began at last.

            “What? Were you just killed?”

            “No, he wasn’t. Though I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, too,” said Kruger, approaching them. “Once they found out your blood, they would have assaulted you until you bred them children until you died. I – I thought a titan might be better than that…”

            Dina cast her eyes down. “You’re the owl.”

            “I was, yes.”

            “And Carla was Grisha’s wife,” Hannes broke in.

            Dina’s eyes jerked up. Stricken, she saw Carla as if for the first time.

            “I guess you were able to find me again,” Grisha said bitterly. Dina was special, even as a titan. She should have been saved, not him.

            “No!” Dina clapped her hands over her mouth.

            “And that – that is our son,” Carla said, pointing at Eren as he rode back with the Survey Corps. Pride and a bit of vengeance tickled her heart. “And that is yours. He’s still alive.”

            Dina saw Zeke at the edge of the island, sipping coffee with a scowl as he waited – waited for child comrades to join him. Child comrades he helped control.

            “ _No_!”

            Carla’s anger dissipated as quickly as it had arisen. This woman had lived a nightmare far worse than she. This woman was not at fault.

            “Dina, he’s alive. He can change. I promise.” She stepped closer, nothing but gentleness on her face.

            “Everyone can change, even after death,” Faye said.

            Dina’s eyes lit up. “Grisha, this is your sister.”

            “Yes, and I pray constantly for my nephew,” Faye said seriously.

            “And I pray for my stepson,” Carla forced herself to say. “Perhaps these Jaeger boys can get along and save the world.”

            “Wait, how?” Hannes asked.

            “It’s a long story,” whispered Frieda.

            Dina looked at Eren, riding with pride and anger and love, and then back to Zeke. “I failed my son.”

            “How very human,” said Kruger.

            “Is it? I was supposed to be royalty. To change things,” Dina said. And she’d never felt special. To discover than she had been – and that her specialty led to more destruction for the man she loved – if only she had never been born.

            “You did,” Frieda said. “Not in the way you hoped. I’m Frieda Reiss, one of your royal cousins, and I never changed things the way I hoped, either. Neithr did your Night Owl, or anyone ever in the history of the world. But still,” she pointed at Grisha, “he’s enabled change, too. Everyone has, and even if it’s not as it should be, it will get there. Zeke and Eren are still alive, and they’re the most powerful titans around. Eren is truly free in soul, and Zeke is smart enough to get there, I believe it. There is always hope.”

            “You killed your wife’s distant relatives?” Carla interrupted.

            “As children,” Grisha said in a small voice.

            “Oh, Grisha.” Dina let tears slip down her face like waterfalls. “Why?”

            “Titans only live thirteen years, and his time was up. He needed to take the coordinate, and I – I was possessed by the First King and I wouldn’t let it go. He freed me, really, though the worst possible methods, but he did free me,” said Frieda.

            “I’m sorry,” Grisha whispered. Sorry was the only thing he ever said, it seemed, and the only word he _should_ ever say again.

            Dina held his hand. She hadn’t given up on him even in titan form; why would she give up on him now? “I heard you, you know. You tried to stop them when I was imprisoned.”

            Grisha looked at her. “Of course I did.”

            “And even at the beach, you tried.”

            “She’s asking if you loved her,” Carla said loudly.

            Grisha twitched. “I – Dina, I still do. I only wish I had been able to show you through being a better husband.”

            “Then you wouldn’t have met her,” murmured Dina. “She seems like someone you needed to meet.”

            “I wish we all could have met her before,” Grisha said. “Um – you know what I mean.”

            “Tell her you loved her, too.”

            “I did. I do.” Grisha’s tears released again. “Carla, I love you.”

            “I know,” Carla replied. She walked forward and extended a hand to Dina once again. “It’s good to have you in our family.”

            Dina threw her arms around Carla. When she pulled back, her face shown with a smile. “Tell me, did he ever outgrow kicking you in his sleep?”


	9. Pastor Nick, Dimo, Nifa, and Keiji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kuchel, Carla, Dina, and Mrs. Ackerman form a mothers coalition, Nick has a spiritual awakening and the Survey Corps welcome more members home.

Chapter Eight

Pastor Nick, Dimo, Nifa, and Keiji

 

            “Just end it for him, please,” Dina muttered, watching as Pastor Nick’s fingernails were ripped off each other, one at a time. “I’m sorry…I can’t look away. They did that to me too.”

            Carla eyed her. “I am so sorry.”

            “I can’t look away,” she repeated. “I wish – I wish there was a way to let him know that someone is watching with him.”

            “We can when he arrives,” Kuchel said sadly, gripping the hands of the other two mothers. Finally, mothers who knew the pain of leaving your young child, of constant fear for their safety.

            “I thought death would free me from torture,” Kruger said to Grisha a few yards away. “Instead I just see more of it.” Perhaps it suited him.

            “I can’t believe I wanted to work for the government,” said Marco, wiping his eyes.

            “I can, because you wanted to do good.” Faye smiled at Marco. He forced a weak smile in response.

            Faye felt everything, of course. But, though she didn’t speak as confidently as Nanaba, her outlook seemed to declare that everything would be okay, and Marco, for one, was grateful for her constant presence.

            “If I’d stayed, I’d have joined the Survey Corps,” he said again.

            “We’d have loved to have you,” Petra said from behind him.

            “We’d also have loved to participate in taking down this bullshit government,” grunted Gunther. He winced. “Am I allowed to swear?”

            “I think,” said the Person, as if they’d been listening, because of course they had, and feeling too, “I care more about your heart.”

           

            Blow after blow after blow, and all Nick could dream about was death. _Maria…Rose…Sina…receive me_.

            His last thoughts must be the goddesses, but still, his family’s faces drifted before him. And then the faces charred before him, burned to death while he passed out from alcohol – no, the goddesses had forgiven him. He’d been forgiven by the goddesses, and even if he wanted his family’s forgiveness, they had no power to change his fate. Only the goddesses could.

 _Maria…Rose…Sina…_ He’d long dreamed they would be his last thoughts, and he’d recite them to himself if need be, until the final blow.

            _Maria…Rose…Sina…Maria…Rose…Sina…Maria – not, let me finish all three names – stop – where am I – MARIA! ROSE! SINA!_

            And then he could feel nothing except floating. For a moment, he saw his bloodied face below Sannes’s boot, saw through Sanne’s soul.

            Excitement shone through him, and he looked up. _I’m ready._

 

            He gagged out blood and a tooth across the green, green grass. _Is this it_?

            “Nick,” said a glowing Person from inside a gate.

            “You know my name?” Nick looked around. “Maria! Rose! Sina!”

            “Nick, I am your Gods.”

            Nick’s eyes widened, and tears ravaged his throat until he wondered if it were possible to strangle from grief in heaven. “My gods were not you.”

            “No,” admitted the Person, “but they helped you. I do not begrudge you them.”

            “I was wrong?! I lost my family, and then I was wrong?!” Nick screamed.

            “You changed. That’s not wrong,” said a soft voice.

            He froze. His wife stood inside the gate, his son and daughter before.

            “You were very brave, dear,” said his wife, tears in her eyes. _You drunken coward_ , she’d spat, as he collapsed outside in the cold and she’d locked the door. And then the house had burned. And she’d regretted it since.

            Nick fell to his knees, and his family rushed out the gate, swarming him with love.

            In that moment, in the Presence of a Stranger who felt uncannily familiar, he found all he’d ever wanted.

 

            “Is that my brother?!” Kuchel’s hands balled into fists. “No – no – no – no –no!”

            Mrs. Ackerman frowned at the lanky man yelling at Dimo Reeves. “He doesn’t really resemble my husband.”

            “Yes, all the better for your husband,” Kuchel replied. “This is not going to end well.”

            “You mean…” Dina watched as Kenny grabbed Reeve by the throat, and with a flash of his knife, spilled his lifeblood.

            “It’s hard to believe he ever cared about anyone,” Kuchel said dully.

            “I think he still does,” Frieda said, with a long glance at Kuchel.

            “Yes, and that’s the problem.”

 

            “You helped our children!”

            Dimo Reeves glanced into the gate, the gate unblocked by material goods, the gate unblocked by people.

            A pretty brunette waved at him and approached with a tall, willowy Asian woman.

            “Are you related to Mikasa Ackerman?” he rasped.

            “I am,” said the woman. “And this is Carla Jaeger.”

            “Oh – oh!” Dimo’s legs shook, but he made sure to grab both ladies’ hands and give them a proper kiss. “Your children are very brave.”

            “We know,” Carla said with a smile.

            “I – I wish my Flegel would be like that…” Dimo turned around. “Oh!”

            He could see Flegel, crying by the trees. Flegel, crying over him, caring about _him_.

            “I think,” said Carla, “those are the tears of someone _very_ brave.”

 

            “Kenny, you fool!” Kuchel’s heart beat wildly.

            “He’s getting near to the captain,” said Petra nervously.

            “He won’t kill Levi. He raised him,” Kuchel said. “Please.”

            “But what about Nifa and Keiji?” Eld demanded.

            Nanaba shrieked then, as Nifa’s head exploded.

            “No.” Mike gripped her hand tighter, as if the power of their love could undo death.

            “Nifa!” Lynne dragged Gelgar near the gate, waving desperately towards her best friend. “Nifa, Nifa, Nifa!”

            “Heaven just got a lot more stylish,” Oluo remarked, crossing his arms.

            “Can you not?” Petra cried.

            “Lynne? Gelgar! Nanaba!” Nifa surveyed the gate. “Squad Leader Mike. Oh my goodness.”

            “Looks like we’re together in death, too,” said Keiji, appearing directly behind her.

            Nifa whirled around. “Of course, you _would_ open with something sarcastic. Can’t you see we’re in heaven, Keiji?!”

            “That’s why I’m free to be sarcastic.”

            “Or not to be.” Nifa placed her hands on her hips.

            “If it makes you feel any better,” said Oluo, hoping Petra would approve of him, “you were killed by Levi’s uncle. So, like, the guy who taught Levi everything.”

            “That man would be Erwin Smith, not Kenny Ackerman,” Mike said.

            “I mean, can’t it be both?”

            “Oluo, shut up.” Petra pressed her lips against his.

            “So this is heaven,” said a third member of Squad Hanji, stepping past the gate.

            “It is.” Petra winked. “You’ll see it’s not all bad.”

            “You’ll see it’s more heaven and hell than you could ever believe,” said Nanaba. “But if you wanna know about this world, I think our first stop should be Grisha Jaeger.”

            “Go on, introduce them.” Kuchel waved them on. “Kenny won’t kill Levi, but I’ll keep watch for you all.”

            “Meet Levi’s mother, Kuchel.”

            “You’re his mother?” Nifa’s mouth dropped open. “But you’re so – _nice_ …”

 


	10. Chapter Ten: Rod and Kenny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uri returns to the gate for Kenny's arrival.

**Chapter Nine**

**Kenny and Rod**

 

**Note: Christmas threw off my schedule, so I apologize for no update last week!**

            Frieda gasped loudly enough to startle Marco. “What’s wrong?!”

            “Nothing – everything is _right_.” She pushed past her freckled friend and dashed for a small blonde man who bore a striking resemblance to Krista –er, Historia.

            After three years of ‘Krista,’ Marco still had trouble calling his friend Historia. Heaven sure hadn’t made him perfect as he’d imagined…just fulfilled.

            The man waved to the rest of the Reiss children as he emerged from the glowing cloud of people deep within the gates, behind and within the Person.

            “Marco!” Frieda gestured him over. “This is my Uncle, Uri Reiss. Oh, Uncle!” She threw her arms around him again.

            “Uri…I’m Marco. Marco Bodt. I was a friend of Historia’s,” said Marco slowly.

            “Historia, the niece I never got to meet.” Uri grasped Marco’s hands tightly. “Thank you.”

            “Well, well, well, look who decided to show up.” Lady Reiss crossed her arms, but a smile played with the corners of her mouth.

            “I had to see this place for myself,” Uri said with a laugh. “All of it. There’s mountains and rivers and heaven…you’ve never imagined the things you’ll see in there. But…everyone waits by the gates first. As they should.” He swallowed. “I just couldn't. Because – Frieda – I’m sorry.”

            “For what?” Frieda asked, puzzled. “None of us were strong enough. That isn’t on you.”

            “I wish,” Uri said after a lengthy pause, “that it could have been. To spare you.”

            “I’m okay. I’m here now, with you.” Frieda hugged him again.

            “Well, well, well, look who’s returned.” Kuchel stood a few meters back, her arms crossed and a smile on her face. “Brother.”

            “Brother?” Carla blinked in confusion.        

            “In-law, I should say,’ Kuchel added hastily. “Future.”

            “Soon to be,” Uri admitted sadly, his face pink. “When he arrives.”

            “Who?” Lady Reiss asked in puzzlement.

            “Kenny, Mom,” said Urklyn.

            “Wait – you – you like men?” gasped Lady Reiss.

            “Why do you think he didn’t have kids?” Dirk rolled his eyes.

            “But why didn’t you tell me?” demanded Lady Reiss. “I would have supported you!”

            Kuchel grabbed Uri’s hands. “Because when you fall in love with a serial killer, life complicates matters. Come on, Uri, let’s wait…I have a feeling Kenny will be here before long.”

            “He won’t hurt Levi.” Before they reached Carla, Dina, and Mrs. Ackerman, Uri stopped and eyed Kuchel. “He loved that kid, as much as he could love anyone.”

            “He could,” Kuchel said, a tear trickling down her cheeks. “He could love.”

            “I think that’s what’s so hard to comprehend,” Uri agreed, watching as Kenny taunted Rod, Rod who never loved anyone.

            “One a murderer, one a coward…I have more hope for a murderer than a coward,” murmured Mrs. Ackerman.

            Uri gasped. “You must be the Ackerman cousins! I heard there was a member of the East Sea Clan with them.”

            “I am,” agreed the woman with a proud smile. “And there’s _my_ daughter.” She pointed to the muscular, beautiful girl riding with the Survey Corps towards Kenny, towards Rod, towards Historia and Eren.

            “Don’t do it,” Uri pled with his niece, the niece he’d never been privileged to meet.

            Frieda sidled up besides him. “She reminded me of you, you know that?”

            “Did she?” Uri had to admit, they did look alike.

            “She’s kind and good. She doesn’t believe it or even know it yet, but she is,” insisted Frieda. “And she has someone of the same gender she loves, too.”

            Uri followed her gaze across the sea, to a young woman held captive by Marley, currently composing a letter to her ‘beloved Historia.’

            “I think,” Uri said slowly, “that if she outwits Rod, she can do what I couldn't.”

            Kenny stepped forward and fired a shot into the ceiling. “Wait, wait, wait. Does that mean only a Reiss can access the memories?”

            Uri froze.

            And Kenny had his brother, his brother who’d never loved anyone, had him by the collar with a gun in his face.

            _He wants me. He’s always wanted me_. Tears slipped down Uri’s face. _Kenny, you fool. I’m up here. I’m right here waiting for you_.

            “Those memories aren’t me,” he choked out. “I’m here. This is me.”

            “The only person who’d take a dog like you _would_ be my fantastical little brother,” spat Rod.

            Something tore in Kenny, as if his heart had split open and blood was everywhere inside him. “If you keep talking about Uri like that, I’ll blow your head off!”

            “Kenny, stop,” moaned Uri, reaching out a hand.

            For a moment, then, he and Frieda and Carla and Grisha and everyone else was there, in the room. Watching.

            And Uri’s hand was on his Kenny.

            Kenny gasped, as if he felt it. A strange calm came over his eyes as Historia knocked his arm away.

            And then they were gone, back up behind the gate, back observing rather than participating.

            “How?” Uri whirled around to the Person.

            “How not? We’re still connected, you know. You might say all of us have a it of Coordinate in us,” said the Person.

            Tears slipped down Uri’s cheeks. “Thank you.”

            “So you’d eat your friend and still treat this as your mission?” Kenny shouted at Historia.

            “Listen to him!” screeched Frieda.

            Grisha was shaking and sweating. He gagged on the gorge in his throat. The Reisses couldn’t – he couldn’t lose another son – he couldn’t have failed.

            A glance behind him showed Kruger, Kruger of all people, on his knees, muttering prayers.

            “He’s forced this on you, on Uri and his own daughter, because he’s too much of a coward to become a titan himself!” Kenny screamed. “He doesn’t care about you!”

            “Come on, come on.” Lady Reiss now pinned all of her hope on the girl she’d seen as a symbol of betrayal. But this girl had never been guilty, and she had been wrong.

            “Here.” Kenny slit Eren’s forehead open. “I’ll help you. You titans can fight it out.”

            Grisha gasped with relief. Eren would undoubtedly be stronger, but –

            “I can’t have him killing his friend,” Carla whimpered.

            Eren screamed then, screamed the way Grisha had at the hands of his Marley torturers, as blood poured down his son’s face. “I didn’t want them! I didn’t want this! Please, Historia, eat me. Save mankind.”

            Grisha moaned, begging someone, anyone, the Person, humanity itself, that he could take Eren’s pain.

            But he couldn’t. He’d given the Attack Titan to Eren.

            “No! You’re trying to manipulate me!” Historia stomped her foot, and Grisha felt as though a wave of cold water had rushed over his flaming heart.

            But her eyes were somewhere else, and Uri knew that look. Her eyes saw someone else, as Kenny had when he’d touched his shoulder. Her eyes were on Ymir.

            “Eat me! I can’t live like this!” screamed Eren.

            “You can! I did!” Grisha yelled back. Behind him, Kruger had been holding his breath for a full five minutes.

            “Stop crying, you dolt!” Historia shot back, yanking his chains. Fury flowed through her, the fury of someone enraged with love. “Free the world of titans? I’m mankind’s enemy, too! We’re vile villains!”

            “Yet you love them the same,” Uri muttered.

 

            “What? Where am I?” Rod looked up. Beyond a wrought iron gate stood his wife, stood Frieda and Dirk and Urklyn and Florian and Abel. “My family!”

            “We’re not yours,” Abel informed him.

            “What? Of course you are.”

            “No.” Frieda stepped forth. “How dare you try to manipulate Historia? Did you honestly think she could overcome the First King? I couldn’t. She couldn’t. You just wanted power for yourself.”

            “For us!” Rod cried in shock. This wasn’t heaven – but why would Frieda be in hell. “Eating a Jaeger would be vengeance!”

            “No, eating _me_ would be vengeance.” Grisha appeared, fire flashing in his eyes.

            Rod’s words died.

            And then a woman who had to be Eren’s mother – she just had to – stepped forth and grabbed him. “Follow me.”

            Confused, Rod followed her, past his family, past Uri.

            A beautiful blonde stood in the distance, alone in the shadow of two trees.

            “Alma!”

            “I saw you do that to Historia. And I felt nothing,” mumbled Alma.

            “I feel something right now – for you.” Rod reached out a hand, but she slapped it away.

            “I listened to you, Rod, time and time again, and you rejected me when I needed you. I can’t recover how I treated Historia – I still can’t even say _my daughter_ without pain – but I can recover how I treated you.”

            Alma swallowed hard, but Kuchel gave her an approving nod from behind, and she remembered she liked the sister of her killer, and strength was hers again. “I’m not yours anymore either.”

            “What do I do? Why am I in hell?!” screamed Rod. No Alma, no children, no life! “I’m dead! Why am I dead?!”

            “Because you idiotically ate the serum?” suggested Eren Kruger.

            “Who the hell are you?”

            “A friend of humanity, though I frequently made myself its enemy,” Kruger replied.

            “Well, I did that too!”

            “No, you really didn't,” Uri said gently.

            “And you’re not in hell. Heaven is here, waiting for you, Father.” Frieda stepped forward, hugged him. “But not on your terms. Let go.”

            Rod shook. How could he let go? He’d had everything, and everything had been taken. “I – I don’t know how.”

            “You’ll learn,” said Eren’s mother. And the lack of anger in her voice – the pity, as if he were worth something he’d never known – sent him crumpling to the ground in tears.

 

            “I was her older brother.” Kenny half-coughed, half-laughed. No, he wasn’t the imp’s father. Ha! He could never have been.

            Levi’s eyes widened. “Then why…why did you leave me then?”

            Kuchel’s face crumpled, and Uri grasped her hand. He remembered her, and he loved her.

            And as Kenny shoved the serum into Levi’s hands, for one moment – for the first moment since Uri’s death – Kenny Ackerman had served a person other than power.

            “Come on.” Uri hesitated but a moment before running to the gate. Missing Kenny’s final quiet moments would be worth it to see his first moment in heaven.

 

            Kenny laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and to his surprise he was still laughing when someone came into view.

            “Hah, now I know I’m dreamin’.”

            “Not dreaming.” Uri smiled from on his knees, as he had greeted Kenny all those years before. “I’m here.”

            A familiar sensation tingled Kenny’s shoulder, as if he’d just felt Uri in the cavern. “Uri…”

            “I was there,” Uri breathed, reaching up to grasp Kenny by his bony shoulders. “With you. I was always with you. You didn’t need my memories to have me.”

            “I did – I did – I did! I saw you in – in her eyes,” blabbered Kenny. “I don’t … understand.”

            “None of us do.” Kuchel leant against the gate.

            “You. Kuchel…Levi.” Kenny winced.

            “You did your best,” Kuchel said, blinking back her own tears. “Though it wasn’t enough. And I don’t think it’s possible to reconcile those points.”

            “I think,” said Uri, rising to his feet and sliding an arm around Kenny, “you’ll find there’s a lot of acceptance here.”

            “Is there a God?” Kenny peered ahead, as if the Person had suddenly come into view. “Well. Have I got questions for you!”

            “You and me both.” Uri laughed.   
            “You should ask them together,” Frieda said slyly.

            “People – her – I can’t even remember her name.” Kenny gaped at Rod and Alma, still crying together.

            “Alma,” Frieda answered.

            “You’ll find,” Uri said, “many people you’ve killed here. I know I have.”

            “You’ve killed no one.”

            “Oh, but through the first king’s possession, I think I have. Maybe it’s not a fair guilt, but I’ll gladly bear it nonetheless.”

            Kenny rolled his eyes. “Heaven hasn’t taught you better, old man?

            “I’m young again,” Uri said with a chuckle.

            “Oh, I’ve noticed.”

            Kuchel grinned. “Well, we’ll leave you two lovers to your questions. I think, Kenny, you’ll find both service and freedom here.”


	11. Bertolt, Marlowe, Moblit, and 197 Humans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marlowe arrives panicking about what he hasn't done yet. Bertolt panics over what he has.

**Chapter Eleven**

**Bertolt, Moblit, Marlowe, and 197 Humans**

 

            One second, at the most inconvenient of times, he’d been dreaming of Hitch’s smirk, and the next he’d realized that despite all his grandeur, despite all his hopes and sacrifice and _fifteen years full of life_ , despite his ton ten placement, he was still the nameless soldier who’d never return from his first mission.

            He’d done nothing.

            But when Marlowe Freudenberg felt himself materialize outside of heaven – for this surely was – confusion stopped him for the first time in his life.

            _Relief_. He was relieved. He hadn’t had to bear the burden of change.

            _Shame_. As if all he’d ever done meant nothing.

            Hundreds of soldiers – Squad Leaders Marlene and Dirk among them – tumbled besides Marlowe.

            “Hey kid,” said a familiar face.

            “Um – hi.” Marlowe frowned at the smiling, brown-haired veteran. He’d often seen him hovering around Squad Leader Hange, but couldn’t recall his name.

            “I’m Moblit Berner, Second in Command of Squad Hange.” He gazed back to the land they’d come from, where his leader crouched with a crushed eye and blood pouring from her bruises. But she was alive. He’d succeeded: humanity’s smartest was alive. “You’re one of the new recruits, aren’t you?”

            And, he thought with a chuckle, if Levi ever got here, Moblit wouldn’t have to fear his wrath. He’d kept his promise.

            “I’m Marlowe Freudenberg,” Marlowe said.

            “Ah, yes, you helped with the uprising!” Moblit snapped his fingers, then peered closer at Marlowe. “I’m sorry it worked out this way.”

            “Me too.” Marlowe glanced behind him. No commander.

            “So the old man survived after all,” spat a girl.

            Moblit inhaled sharply.

            “No,” Marlowe said. “No, it’s not his fault.”

            “What do you mean? We died for nothing!” cried the girl.

            “It’s not for nothing if the mission succeeds,” Marlowe said shakily. “I have to believe that.”

            “I do believe that,” said Moblit.

            “Well, of course you do,” she snapped.

            “We all believe that,” said a tall, scruffy blond man, striding towards them.

            “Mike!” Moblit gasped.

            “All of us.” Nifa giggled and hurried forward from a crowd of hundreds dressed in military gear.

            Nanaba stretched out her hand towards the angry girl. “None of us are ever ready to die. But I promise you, what the Commander said is true: none of our deaths will be in vain.”

            The girl’s eyes were red. “My parents will be devastated.”

           “They’re alive. There’s always hope if you’re alive,” said a redhead. “I’m Petra Ral, by the way. Look – there they are.”

            “You can see everyone from here?” Marlowe searched for Hitch beyond the clouds. There she was, waking up, muttering – a prayer for him? It was too late, he thought with a sad laugh.

            “Was it too late?” asked a freckled boy. “She remembers you, and you heard her.”

            “Who are you, and how do you know my thoughts?” demanded Marlowe.

            “Marco Bodt, casualty of Trost,” he said casually. “Well, Trost and my titan comrades who betrayed me. And I know your thoughts because – remember Jean?”

            “Do I? He’s great.” Marlowe smiled.

            “He started as one of those cozy ladder-climbing asses you hated,” Marco said. “I died, and he changed.”

            “Hitch was already more than that,” Marlowe said defensively.

            “So was Jean. This will just…catalyze more.” Marco narrowed his eyes, concentrating on Bertolt lying limbless besides Eren, on Reiner blindfolded and bound before Hange.

            “Are you coming?” asked Frieda, as they rest of the soldiers began escorted the new arrivals inside.

            “Um, yes.” Marco turned away.

 

            “Help me,” Grisha whispered as Zeke, his Zeke, his slaughtering, dying Zeke he’d cursed into this life, bartered with an enraged Eren.

            And Eren knew, even if he couldn’t face it. In his eyes, Eren recognized Zeke.

            And Zeke…Zeke cared about Eren.

            “There’s compassion in him yet,” Dina said through choked tears.

            “What?” Faye turned to her big brother.

            “Help me,” he said shakily.

            “I don’t think he can watch this,” Carla said to Dina.

            She nodded and grabbed Grisha’s arm. “Let’s go.”

            “What did I do?”

            “You made mistakes, same as me. I’ve been just as bad as you,” Dina said, glaring into his eyes. “Get over yourself. We love you. I found you. You found Carla. We found each other, and no matter what happens, good will win out. I _know_ it. _Believe_ it.”

            “You can’t command belief,” Grisha said with a weak smile.

            “But you can inspire it. Look at her.” Dina nodded toward Carla. “Someone who had injustice done to her, who inspires your son’s hope even now. Someone who knew the real meaning of ‘special.’”

            Carla blinked. “I don’t know –”

            “And this woman is exactly who you and I needed,” Dina finished.

            Grisha smiled at Carla. “She always was.” He paused. “Well, you too, Dina.”

            Dina rolled her eyes and shoved him. “I knew what you meant. I’m not as smart as you, but I’m not stupid, Grisha.”

            As they reached the table where Grisha’s parents sat, Carla eyed the brawl below. “Dina: I’ll be back. Watch over Grisha.”

            “Always.” Dina hugged her husband.

           

Kuchel gripped Kenny’s arm. “Levi shouldn’t have to bear this serum.”

“Are you blaming me?”

Kuchel glared at him, her face a feminine mirror of her sons. “No!”

“Sorry,” Kenny muttered. “I guess, well, I guess I’m on edge myself.”

“We all are,” said Uri.

“Mom loves you, Levi,” murmured Kuchel. “I’ll always be with you.”

She’d told him that before she died, and she’d tell him that again everyday of his life. Even if he couldn’t hear her, maybe he could feel her.

 

“Help me!” Bertolt was helpless before the titan grabbing him. They’d turned Armin of all people – Armin didn’t deserve this.

Maybe Armin would enjoy it. His traitor friend dead.

Jean. Connie, holding a crippled Sasha. Mikasa holding Eren back, as if Eren might want to save him. Where was Krista?

“Help!” He deserved this, inside a titan’s mouth, its teeth grinding down on him, _fuck_ –

A scream ripped from his heart, the scream of desperation and loneliness and self-hate and Marco –

Bertolt crumpled onto soft, sweet grass, and wherever he was, he had to scream again, and again, and again.

His hands were back, but Bertolt didn’t move. He didn’t deserve to. Let the flames of hell consume him.

“Hey.” A woman’s voice. Something brushed his arm. “Hey, you.”

Bertolt didn’t move. Maybe if he lay here, he could stop existing. Why did he exist after death when he should never have been born?

“You know, you killed me,” said the woman, amusement in her lilting voice. “You and a titan named Dina Fritz. She’s now my closest friend. I forgave her, and I forgave you. I love you, and you deserved better, Bertolt Hoover.”

She knew his name? Bertolt opened his eyes.

“I’m Carla Jaeger. Eren’s mom, and your friend.” Carla smiled sweetly.

“My – friend?”

“You were kind to my boy. You taught him the 3D maneuver gear, didn’t you? You and Reiner. I – I’m sorry for what you had to suffer.” Carla shrugged. “We see everything here, you know.”

“I’m a murderer.” Bertolt whimpered.

“You’re a child. I blame Marley Leaders more than you. Even my stepson, Zeke, more than you.” Carla rubbed Bertolt’s back, the way his mother used to.

“You can stay and cry as long as you’d like. I’ll be here with you.”

“Does – I mean – is everyone here as kind as you?”

“No. But everyone is glorious humanity. We exist. We deserve heaven.” Carla stood and offered her hand. “I’ll introduce you, if you wish.”

 _I have no will of my own_. He nodded slowly and followed her into the gate.

            “Aw, Bertolt. Good to see you.” Nanaba pulled Mike Zacharius closer to him.

            “We know about Marley,” Petra said. “We care about you.”

            “I wish,” said a small man who looked suspiciously like Krista, “that they hadn’t killed you. The murder of innocents must stop somewhere.”

            “I concur,” said a bespectacled man resembling Erwin.

            Bertolt gasped as Eld clapped him on the shoulder. “You did your duty, same as us.”

            “Well, not quite, since our goal wasn’t mass extermination,” pointed out Oluo.

            “But that’s not your fault,” he added quickly.

            “You know what I think?” A black haired version of Krista approached, squinting at Bertolt. “I think you’ve one of the good guys who got imprisioned on the bad side.”

            “I could have chosen different,” he burst out.

            “Obviously, but people are weak. All of us,” said a gangly man who had his arm wrapped around the older, male Krista.

            “We love you as you are,” Carla said.

            Bertolt didn’t respond. He couldn’t.

            Because Marco was there, at the edge of the crowd, his innocent eyes watching him without blinking.

            And then – and then – Marco ran forward and threw his arms around him. “Bertl!”

            “M – Marco,” he stammered.

            “I’ve forgiven you,” Marco said eagerly. “I’ve got you. I’ve got your back, Bertolt.” He chortled. “Or should I say your neck?”

            “I – uh – shouldn’t we talk?”

            “Of course. And especially about how we left our beloveds behind,” Marco said with a wink.

            “Marco!” Sweat beads appeared on Bertolt’s forehead.

            “Oh, your feelings for Reiner are obvious,” assured Marco. “You’re adorable.”

 

           “So that’s it, then?” Erwin blinked.

            “Oh there’s a trillion and one facets left,” Grisha said, eyes lighting up. “We should discuss them.”

            “Definitely,” Erwin agreed. “Um, for the record, I don’t blame you. Or anyone. I suppose…I blame humanity.”

            “I’d say that’s the most logical,” agreed his father.

            “But I love humanity, too,” Erwin insisted.

            “We all do.” A tall man approached them.

            “Eren Kruger, meet Erwin Smith,” said Faye.

            The two officers shook hands.

            “You’re who I wish I had been,” Kruger said. “I hope you never doubt what you’ve accomplished. Though I’m sure you do.”

            “Because you do, too. And here you started all of this.” Erwin gestured around the gathering.

            “I like to think humanity started this,” Kruger said.

            “And humanity will finish it.” Erwin agreed.

            “Sacrifice isn’t always necessary, but when it is, it will never be in vain. I have to believe that,” Kruger said, and Marlowe’s heart warmed towards this spy, this spy who echoed his own thoughts.

            And Grisha, Erwin, and Kruger, haunted souls surrounded by humanity who loved them – felt for one moment, as Eren had when he’d touched Dina, that everything was connected.

 

**Thank you all so much for reading! I do plan on writing more, but alas! Or is it yay? We have no more deaths to cover. But, since this is Snk we’re talking about, this story shall continue for as long as we have characters sent to heaven.**

**I do have actual arcs planned out for all of them, too, so fear not. I promise to complete this story. But if you have any heaven interactions you’d particularly like to see, I could consider making that an intermission chapter, so let me know.** **J**

**Love to you all.**


	12. Chapter Twelve: Ymir and the Middle East Union Casualties

**Chapter Twelve**

**Ymir and the Middle East Union Casualties**

**Guys, I didn’t want to write this chapter. I was enjoying all my characters breathing ~~Isayama why~~.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy.**

            “What the hell, Reiner?!” Bertolt wrung his hands. “Don’t do it! You can’t lose another friend!”

            “He can’t help himself,” Frieda said glumly, tears creeping down her cheeks. “Historia loves you, Ymir. Stay strong.”

            For the gangly, freckled girl was chained to a podium, just like Uri had been when she’d eaten him. Just like Eren had been why Historia freed him. Why? Why was the world so cruel?

            “Galliard thinks he can avenge me this way.” Marcel shook his head. “He won’t. I – I’m sorry.”

            “ _We_ should be sorry,” said a man grouped to the left. One of the former titans. “We made her into Ymir.”

            “Pshh. Don’t flatter yourself.” Carla strode over with a roll of her eyes. “Ymir made herself into the Ymir she wanted to be. She’s a brave girl.”

            The needle slid into Galliard’s back, and Marcel covered his eyes as he felt its cold, smooth pain all over again. Sometimes, he thought his death was the best thing that had happened to him.

            Ymir would probably disagree, though. She brought a smile to his face, this girl with the queer wisdom so many needed right now.

           

            Her stomach dropped as the titanic claw lifted her into the air. Death again, but this time as a meal.

            Ymir’s eyes popped open. _Oh no_. She was no meal, no item, no unfortunate girl.

            She’d met Historia Reiss. She’d loved her.

            As the titan’s teeth closed around her, Ymir forced an image of Historia’s smile into her mind. The time they’d reached out to each other – touched hands – _promise me you’ll live for yourself_ -

            Everything was so warm, and she kept rising.

 

_Years in heaven aren’t years at all. In fact, it’s almost as if no time has passed, and yet everyone has been there eternal._

_But when you watch the earth, you see this thing called time weaving on and on. And so when four years had passed on earth, Ymir still had not stopped watching over her Historia._

            “He’s a much more impressive titan than I,” Ymir said suddenly, watching Galliard’s jaws snap up and down, splintering the train tracks.

            “Eh,” said Frieda. “I’m still irked he ate you. For my sister’s sake.”

            “We would have been good sisters-in-law,” Ymir agreed. “Just imagine!”

            “It makes me so happy.” Frieda squeezed Ymir’s hand.

            “Galliard’s impressive, but so was Bertolt.” Marcel settled besides the two women. “Impressive before the fall.”

            “Gee, thanks,” Bertolt joked. “But yeah…I worry for him.”

            “Like his brainwashing is increased by my death,” said Marcel. “He _can’t_ be wrong now.”

            “You shouldn’t feel guilty for that,” said Marco, patting Marcel on the shoulder.

            “Would the stop staring at me?” Ymir said, glaring at the titan cult. “I know they feel sorry, but I have no need to speak with them. I don’t want to.”

            “And you shouldn’t have to,” said Frieda.

            “Ymir!” Ilse Langnar hurried up.

            _“Oh my walls, do you know what it’s like to finally meet you? Should I bow? You’re amazing.”_

 _“I’m not the real Ymir.” Ymir shifted and glanced at Marco._ Help _._

_“But you helped unlock the mystery of our plight. You did not surrender to your fate. I – I admire you so much.” The dark haired girl gripped her hands, eyes shining._

_And Ymir realized she was admired…for who she was._

            “Hey, Ilse.”

            “I’m putting together a chronicle of the events on Paradis,” Ilse said breathlessly. She was always breathless. “Do you thin it’s worthwhile?”

            Ymir laughed. “Look, Ilse, you’re in the afterlife. You do what you want. But I’d read it, since that’s what you really mean.”

            “So would I,” said Frieda eagerly.

            “Yes!” Ilse clapped her hands together. “Oh, what’s happening now?”

            “Crazy idealistic child soldier is about to blow up a train in her underwear,” Ymir said with entirely too much cheer.

            “What?” Ilse gaped at the sight.

            “She reminds me of Reiner,” Bertolt said sadly. “She should not be the Armored Titan.”

            “He can see that,” Ymir said softly. “Don’t worry so much, Bertolt. You’re in heaven, for crying out loud.”

            “I’ll stop worrying when Reiner is safe.”

            “He’s dying?”

            “Not helpful.” Bertolt crossed his arms, a pout on his face.

            “You can greet him with a kiss.”

            “I don’t want to! I want him alive! With a _chance_.” Bertolt’s voice broke.

            Ymir cringed. She’d pushed too far, again.

            “Hey, look at it this way. Maybe Hange’s titan science will cure him before his tenure runs out,” said Marco, leaning over to hug the tall boy.

           

            “Why, Zeke,” whispered Grisha.

            Dina rested her chin on his chest. “Because he doesn’t know better yet. He’ll be okay.”

            “Eren will help,” added Carla.

            “We should head over to the gate,” Grisha said as Titans dropped from the sky and Middle Eastern soldiers piled through the gate.

           

            “Why am I here? Why with _them_?” A Middle East Union soldier shoved an Eldian back. He recognized his face. The titan who’d severed him in half.

            “Because you’re dead, and now you can finally understand,” said a tall blond man.

            The soldier frowned. Rows and rows of green-caped men and women stood beyond the gate, fists over their heart.

            “We salute all soldiers,” said the blonde. “I am Commander Erwin Smith, of the Survey Corps on Paradis.”

            “You’re _Eldian_ ,” squealed the Union soldier, stepped back.

            “And caring enough to greet us.” The former titan stepped forward, eyes alight. “You don’t hate who we are?”

            “We’re proud to be different.” Erwin clapped a hand on his shoulder. “You were brave, sir, and you didn’t deserve what happened.”

            “I was turned into a titan years ago via the same Beast powers,” said Mr. Springer, stepping forward. “From the invasion on Paradis. If you need to talk – my family and I – minus my wife and son – we understand your experience. We will help you.”

            “Where’s your wife and son?” asked an old Eldian woman.

            “My wife…remains a deformed titan in Survey Corps custody. My son fights to free the world.” Mr. Springer’s eyes sparkled. “His girlfriend is the one who killed me.”

            “Funny what everyone finds humor in,” said Ymir, her eyes traveling back to Paradis.

            Historia was in meetings with Commanders Zoe, Pixis, Dok, and Zackly.

            She was beautiful.

            A lump rose in Ymir’s throat.

            “Are you okay?” Frieda whispered.

            “I miss her. I miss her so much it hurts. Sometimes I imagine touching her fingertips, holding her, whispering encouragement in her ears. Do you – do you think – ” Ymir turned to the Person she hadn’t had much time for until now. Most of the time she sassed them. “Do you think she can know? How proud I am of her?”

            The Person’s eyes filled with tears that mirrored Ymir’s. “Hold on.”

            And then, for a moment, Ymir felt herself swept in a whirlwind besides Historia.

            “Historia! Historia, I’m so proud of you,” Ymir called as the whirlwind drew her away.

            Historia Reiss blinked.

            “Your majesty?” Hange frowned.

            “Let’s ready the troops,” she declared, courage soaring.


	13. Udo. Zophia. The Citizens of Liberio

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Udo. Zophia. The Citizens of Liberio.**

**I'm back! Finally. Now that we have some inkling of what was actually going on with the Survey Corps and Eren, I feel like I can start writing again.**

**Although next chapter might actually kill my heart (you know who).**

Grisha and Dina wept at the scene playing out in Liberio. Eren, dedicated enough to sever his own leg, both recognizing and understanding his grandfather.

And saying nothing.

Not that Grisha faulted Eren, nor Zeke. He faulted himself. His children were doomed and dying and nihilistically clung to destruction, but he had set them on this path.

Carla, however, did not weep. She prayed, and chose to place her faith in Mikasa and Armin. Unlike Grisha, who had not the blessing of friends to restrain him in Liberio, Eren did.

* * *

"I have faith in Mikasa and Levi," Erwin commented, watching the approaching Eldian airship.

"She's as strong as he is now," Mike agreed besides his friend.

* * *

"Reiner!" Bertolt cried out as his best friend placed a rifle in his mouth. "Reiner, wait!"

But was it fair, to tell Reiner to wait with Eren and Zeke's plan about to collapse around them?

Bertolt hesitated, but Ymir's pinch sent him into action.

_I'm not the nervous weakling I was on earth._

"Please," he begged Reiner from above. "Remember Gabi, and Falco, and Udo and Zophia. Colt."

He didn't know if Reiner could hear him – in fact he expected he couldn't – but yet, below, Reiner hesitated.

"Sometimes," said the Person's voice, as Reiner stood and left his gun, "Our emotions can still change a heart."

Bertolt wrapped his arms around his knees. Ymir, Marco, and Frieda sat with him, watching Eren lure Reiner and Falco Grice into the basement.

"Not my grandkids." Grice, Grisha's old friend from the Restoration, held his breath.

"Eren would not kill a child," Grisha said dully. "He wouldn't." Eren was not Marley.

Eren Kruger winced. Because, for once, he agreed with Grisha's idealism.

"He'd risk one, though," said Carla, worrying her lip.  _Baby, it's not too late to turn back. Your friends are here. It's never too late._

As Eren unleashed his titan form below, Faye turned her head away, unable to watch more children perish from a pointless war.

* * *

As rocks flew and crashed around kids, Bertolt initially breathed a sigh of relief. Reiner had saved Falco. Reiner could keep living with himself.

But then Marco gasped, and Bertolt looked to the gate to see Zophia standing there, blinking in confusion.

A crowd began to join her, pushing Zophia out of the way. Like a good soldier, she showed no fear. She simply stepped aside.

This time, Bertolt did not hesitate. He stood and walked carefully towards the gate. "Hello, Zophia. Do you remember me?"

Her eyes widened. "Ber – Bertolt?"  
"Yeah," he said with a little laugh.

"Am I dead?" she frowned, looking below.

Zophia inhaled sharply. Her body was crushed on the ground. All her training, all her combat skills, had been reduced to nothing by a falling boulder.

"Why is this happening?" she cried.

No, she shouldn't – she was a soldier – but – not anymore –

"It's okay." Bertolt wrapped his arms around her. "Cry if you want."

"Or we'll cry fro you," Frieda called, wiping her eyes from a few feet away.

"Zophia?" A bespectacled boy clung to the gate, as if afraid to enter heaven.

"Udo, you too?" Now Zophia burst into tears.

"Me parents –" Udo looked below.

"It's not fair," Zophia sobbed in his ear. "They just got us back."

"Wait." Udo waved his hands. "Is this death?"

"It is," answered Ymir carefully.

"But…" He swallowed. "Aren't we devils supposed to be in hell? We didn't do much to redeem ourselves."

Ymir sighed. "I'm gonna tell you something, kid, and you're not gonna believe me, but it's true, okay?"

She strode closer and clamped her hands around the two soldiers' shoulders. "You are not devils. There was never anything wrong with you. Nothing more than ordinary human faults."

"You're lying." Udo's voice caught.

"She's not," said Bertolt.

"Look around you," Marco said. People laughed, cried. Families were reuniting, new families forged, and tears shed for the survivors. "Do you see devils?"

"I don't see angels," Zophia said dryly.

"You don't have to be. You just have to be human," Bertolt said, his voice wavering. "And you are. No matter what Marley taught us, we were never evil."

"I can't," Udo screamed. "Is this propaganda?"

"It's true, and you can feel it," Zophia whispered.

"I don't want to! I don't – I don't want to have wasted twelve years – I only had twelve – it's unfair!" Udo clamped his hands over his ears.

He was a devil. Only a devil would scream in heaven.

A Person composed of light, or so it seemed, knelt beside him. "You're right. It's unfair, and it's okay to scream, Udo. Here, you are free, and you are loved."


End file.
